[The Brain is skulking across the floor of the lab, towards some
shadowy piece of electronic equipment, carrying with him an
ingenious device cobbled together out of string, paperclips, and
bubblegum]
BRAIN: Tonight's plan demands strategy, boldness, and --
[He deftly manipulates his contraption, causing the vending
machine to spit out an avalanche of little packages]
-- plenty of cheesy snacks to fortify us. ... Pinky?! What
are you doing, Pinky?
PINKY: [Stretched out on the floor of the cage, reading the newspaper]
I've solved the mystery, Brain! I know who stole "The Scream"!
BRAIN: This ought to be good.
PINKY: Macaulay Culkin!
BRAIN: [Grabbing Pinky by the snout]
This is no time to rehash cultural references that were beaten to
death in the last century. Besides, *I* stole that painting.
PINKY: You, Brain!? But--but... why??
BRAIN: Relax, Pinky. It's just one of the copies, there are three others.
But gaining notoriety is one of the steps in establishing my
star-power: fame, then fortune, and then -- the world!
PINKY: Notoriety? Don't you need talent?
BRAIN: [Consulting a print-out of the requisite characteristics]
Not according to my detailed study of the world's most successful
celebrities. In fact, it seems to hinder more than it helps.
PINKY: But Brain! You don't want to be like that! People like that are
not liked when they're like that, like, you know, and with the
pressure and the narf it's oh egad all too much poit zort Brain I
you couldn't---
BRAIN: Pinky!! Try thinking before you speak.
PINKY: Right-o, Brain! Um.... ah........
[Sighing, Brain turns on the radio. It's playing "Swinging on a
Star".]
PINKY: Thanks, Brain! You see...
A staršs a celebrity who's seldom ignored;
He serves his time for breaking laws at Betty Ford.
Though he's trained to speak another's words and views,
He's still sought out to comment on the news!
If paparazzi you don't mind in your boudoir--
Then you just might end up a star!
Or would you rather live in a cage?
And be provided for into old age?
Enjoy the academic life of a sage...
Or would you rather be a star?
A star has to spend a lot of time looking good;
And do things other people say he should.
He works strange hours and gets paid too much,
Folks want autographs but think hešs out of touch.
But if you like a life thatšs twisted and bizarre,
Then go ahead and be a star!
And all the monkeys arenšt in the lab--
The political world seems to grab
Them up; so don't mope around and grouse:
The world out there's one big madhouse.
You're better off a plain labmouse!
BRAIN: You make a good point, Pinky. For once.
PINKY: Ooh, I've been doing a lot of careful research, Brain.
[Holds up a copy of the National Enquirer]
BRAIN: Yes. I think we'll cancel tonight's plans, Pinky. I have a
headache.
PINKY: Plans? Why, Brain? What were we going to do tonight?
BRAIN: ...and it's getting worse.
They're migrainey,
They're Brainy and Pin-ky, Pin-ky, Pin-ky!
- David "those mice are doing remarkably well for eleven-year-olds"
Green
|
