"The Buffy Effect..." VII...
A shortie...
PG-13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Similar to my Immortal Beloved series of sketches, and my
Semi-Parallel Lives bits mostly just short brainstorming ideas for
other tales...As with both of those, some bits may be multipart,
others just a few lines...
***
Part C...
Night...A dank cavern space...
Dank...And then some...Buffy sighed, looking round...The large space
barely lit by two old lanterns on the floor...She eyed the thick metal
bracelets on her wrists and ankles, chains running to the rock of one
wall, large metal spike set in wall...Magic of some sort, considering
how drained they left her...Third Buffy still out across from her,
sleeping almost peacefully...
She tensed and tried another snap of the chains...Feeble...No good...
Well, at least whatever this Willow had darted them with before
dumping them here hadn't left a raging headache...Hmmn...Wish I had my
watch...She looked over to her twin...Watch on wrist unreachable...
Pity to disturb the princess' beauty rest but... "Hey..." she
hissed... "Buffy..."
Nothing...
"Buffy!!!..." a near-wall shattering shout...
"Mmmn..." Third Buffy moaned a little and rolled...
God, do I really sleep so heavy?...And drool like that?...
"Sis!!...Come on, wake up!!!..."
She frowned as Third Buffy rolled again and returned to hearty
snoring...
Well, hope to God alternate Willow's making that bastard Mears
suffer...
Without permanent injury, please...We still need him...
Hmmn...What might do it?...She pondered...
"Buffy?!!...Breakfast!!!!..."
"Huh?..." Third Buffy raised head, blinking back sleep...
***
"So ya see..." Mears gave his most charming beam... "I'm a totally
innocent victim here...And if you'd just...Hey!!..." he glared...
A giggle from Alternate Xander as he backed away...Having again tossed
holy water at Mears...Happily fingering his own tangled beard and
hair...
Ineffective, yes...Even crazed Xander could see that...But it sure
irritated what he remembered vaguely as a nasty little geek...
"Tell that nut to stop spla****ng me with that water...I'm no
vampire...Look, lady I can be a very helpful friend to you...If you've
think you've got Evil Buffy problems, I got them in triplicate..."
Why do I keeping having this urge to flay the bastard and be done with
him?...Alternate Willow thought, looking up at Mears chained to the
dank cavern wall in upright position...
I mean, yeah, I done hardened up a bit the last few fighting the
darkest side of my best friend and her Undead honey...A fight
occasioned by her soul's voluntary decision to stick with said Undead
one over her kith and kin...
And I remember from happier days at Sunnydale the guy was rather the
obnoxious geek...The sort always likely to wind up authoring nasty sci-
fi stories demeaning women and usually ending up on the pointy end of
Buffy's stake...As opposed to my own friendly and lovable version...
Not to mention a vague memory or two of seeing him or his vamp
counterpart...Anne not being much given to keeping nasty pudgy nerds
as human pets it was unlikely he'd still been alive...Working among
Anne and Spike's minions in their fortress home when she'd penetrated
the place on one or two scouting missions...
Still, it seemed a bit extreme...
"Xander...Let him be...All right, pal...Whoever you are..." she
frowned at Warren... "I want some straight answers and I have ways of
insuring I get them..." she waved a hand, Warren panicking, shut his
eyes and did what he could with his securely chained hands to try and
protect his face...
Nothing painful occurring he opened eyes...To see the red-head in
front of him in her rather ***y black outfit...
Though the girl...Willow, right...Having totally ignored his favorable
comments on her appearance...Clearly must be...
Oh, wait...Right...Her counterpart on his Earth was...
Well, forget that avenue of negotiation...He eyed the small glass ball
the size of an egg in her hand...
"What?..." she frowned at his nervous glance... "This just indicates
if you're telling the truth..."
Oh...Phew...
"Xander will handle any physical torturing necessary..." she
shrugged...Xander beaming...I'll get the things...He scurried off,
muttering happily to himself...
Gotta give him some pleasure in life...Willow noted...
"Lady, do I look like a liar?..." Warren glared...
Willow eyed him coolly...
"Hows about you answer that?..."
"Hey, that's an insult..."
"Red..." she held up the glass ball... "You know you do..."
"Look..." he sighed... "I'll talk a lot better if I'm not chained to a
wall knowing a crazy maniac's about to start ripping my fingernails
off...I said I could help you and I can..."
"Why are you people...If you really are people...Here?...The truth..."
He hesitated...
Eh, why not... "The other blondie was telling you the truth...We came
cause they...Two of them, anyway...Having been screwing round with
interdimensional travel...Tryin' to help their boyfriend..."
"William..." Willow stated coldly...
"Exactly...Good ole Spike...Does he use that one here?...They're
obsessed with him, think he's their..."
"Husband..." Icy tone...
"Yeah...Well...That's what they...The two crazier ones...Say..."
"And you fit in...How?..."
"It's my system...They stole it from..." he eyed the red orb in
Willow's hand... "Well, it was my idea...Ok, I just developed some of
the basic principles in my time warper...Fine...But they did grab
me...And threatened...Well, one did...The more psycho of the
two...Though it's a close race...And they won't let me go till..."
"They save him..." Willow finished...
"I see you've heard this one..." he noted...
"I have..." she said, curtly...Then came closer... "Why two?..."
"They say...They told me...They've crossed dimensional time-
lines...One popped into the other's world to save blonde boy...See
when you crossover, the very act of doing it confirms the..."
"...existence of the entered world...I know the theory, Mr. Mears..."
Willow waved a hand...
Xander returned from down the cavern, bearing a large box...Giggling
to himself, he set it down and opened it...Raising first a large
rubber mallet...
"Bonk-bonk...Xander bonk it out of him..."
Warren glanced, gulping...
"You were saying...?" Willow urged...
"...Ok...Right...So the first one had grabbed another me earlier..."
"There are two of you...?"
"Nah...He gave her the slip...That's why they needed me...I was too
smart for 'em..."
"...And yet not smart enough..." Willow eyed him...
"...saw-saw...Cut to the heart...Get it out..." Xander happily
addressed the hacksaw he'd pulled out, setting it down...
"Could you please send Sweeney Todd to fetch wood or something...?"
"I like to see him enjoying himself...He's the one thing left on this
world I really love..." she said, a quick, sincerely fond glance
Xander's way...Xander too occupied wiping tools with rag to note it...
"Continue..."
"...Well...I got away...My other one did, I mean...And the first,
pretty crazy one got to William too late...Just as the second...And
maybe even, crazier...One came up...So having screwed it royally..."
"Too late?...So we got him?..."
"Damned if I know, lady...I don't follow romance novels and
soaps...Ok, I've skimmed one or two on a dull afternoon..." he sighed
as she produced the brightly glowing orb...
"She...The first psycho...Said he'd died fighting some
Partners...Whoever they were...After doing something dorky like saving
the world or some stupid thing...Anyway, they're both nuts about him
since he won his soul back or whatever and..."
"He won...?" Willow stared at him, the still orb, then him...
"His soul, yeah...Some big deal to get her to think he was worthy or
something only she didn't fall for it till later...Then I guess he did
the other wopping big deal and she got some brain flash and decided he
owed her alimony...Both of them, from what they tole me..."
"He won his soul...Saved the world...Then they found out about
Cicely?...But he was..." Willow asked, a hair dazedly...
"All ready for him..." Xander called happily...
"I know...Idiotic, isn't it?..." Warren hastily continued... "But
they're psychos, like I tole ya...And kidnappers...I'm the innocent
here..." he whined a bit...
"What happened to him?..."
"Lady, I don't know all the details...But Mears One only had one
to..."
"I mean, to William..." Willow frowned... "Their William...He'd saved
the world and died?"
"They got there too late...Too busy fixing their hair or something
girly...He croaked...The first one, the one who grabbed Warren One,
went nuts and got her hands on the transit system, grabbed my twin,
screwed up on a couple of times and then ran into Psycho Two and both
managed to screw it...He's still deader than ever...William..."
"I see...But why did they come here?...To grab this world's
Spike?...He's a monster..."
"How should I..."
"One more like that..." Willow frowned, showing the orb... "And I let
Xander get busy..."
"I had a leetle problem with relative positioning...The coordinates
were a hair off...It's their faults...Their jumping round and
interfering in each dimensional line throws the system off when they
go to the next stop...We even I've been trying to compensate cause I
wanna go home but I haven't quite made it work yet...My twin did,
though...At the end...I think..."
Unless he screwed it again and is burning in the heart of some star
somewhere in Andromeda...
"Wait..." Willow raised a hand... "You too, Xander..." she gently
urged the anxious wild man back...Xander giving a disappointed look as
he swung the rubber mallet gently between his hands...
"Your machine...Buffy's, I mean... Allows for time as well as
dimensional travel?..."
Xander, sighing, perked up a bit...Time?...
:"Yeah...And works damned well, too...From what Buffy the First told
me she got all the way back to Shakespeare's day..."
"Time-travel..." Willow murmured... "It could all be..." she paused...
"But it's another time line..."
"Right..." Mears nodded... "As I've explained to the ladies...Who
refused to let a little thing that stop their psychonesses...The
changes that must occur confirm/create a new timeline...They're
mucking up lives...Heck, worlds...by the score all for their own
selfish little..."
"It could be worth it...Even if you'd have to stay...And explain
things to your counterparts..." Willow said quietly...Not really
talking to him...
"A way to make this all go away...Never happened...Except for what
I'd..." she glanced at Xander... No, I couldn't...I couldn't take
him...Make him suffer as he is now and worse, have to see himself safe
and happy...No...Just me...Just me...Watching him and poor Tara and
Anya and that happy idiot, my own counterpart...And even...Yes, for
their sakes...And all those who suffered...Maybe even Buffy...Live
their lives as they should have...Before He came...
Hmmn...Warren eyed her still face...
Another one...When are they gonna learn?...
Still, an op****tunity...
"I could help you..." he said, carefully... "A trip back on this world
wouldn't be too difficult to set...You could do it, with my
help...Save your world from whatever..."
"Where's the transit system now?..." Willow ignored his pitch...Fixing
him with a hard stare...
"On the Earth the first one came from..." he began...
"Xander!!...One smart-ass, with everything..."
"...But the controller is with the second psycho!...Or it was...!" he
blurted, whimpering, as Xander hopped to his feet, holding the
hacksaw...
"And where's Buffy Two...Which one?..."
"Neither of the two you got locked up...I mean it!...See, I didn't
finish...They had to grab number three when we left my world...It's
crazy number one and number three you got....Two is still footloose
and fancy-free...And has my controller..."
"And she's human...And seeking William?..."
"Yeah..."
"How about Number Three, in our cell?...Is she human and betraying
everything she ever loved for him?..."
"Nah...I mean, yeah she's human...But she isn't dating him or
anything...They got her too soon..."
"Lucky her...And her world..." Willow, icily...
"My world..." Warren corrected...
And if I get the chance to dump her off here and go home, that will be
literal...
"I'm guessing you can't reconstruct the controller..."
Willow...Pausing...
"It has to be properly linked to the transit emitter on her
world...I'd have to have the original for a while to reconstruct a
copy that could utilize it...Or I could build a new emitter if you
have a Pentagon-sized budget and loads of time..."
"I get the picture...All right..." Willow rubbed her chin
thoughtfully... "You want to get outta here in one, preferably human,
piece and go home...I want my home back...And the way to do it is to
find this other Buffy, get that transit system and go back and see
that William...My world's William...Finds peace real quick in his
career..."
Or maybe...Even...
Could I do that?...Even now...After all she's done...That Anne has
done...
Could I kill my best friend as well as her lover?...Husband, lets face
it...Husband...
To save them all...And her soul?...After all that's happened...
"Yes..." she whispered...
"What?..." Warren asked, his face eager...Deal on the verge of
closing...This one's definitely hooked...Just throw in the free box of
car wax and ... "Do we have a deal?..."
"No, Xander..." she turned to stop a frustrated Xander who'd been
waiting quite patiently, all things considered... "He's not one of
Anne's...He's Us..."
"Us?..." Xander looked Mears over, sniffing...
"Please, Xan...For Willow..." she patted him, gently... "He's not
vamp...You know that."
"No good..." he shook his head... "He no good...Let me have him..."
"No, Xander...He's human...And we need him...We need him, honey...Anya
needs him..."
Xander gave her a frightened look...No...
"No magics for them...Can't bring...You saw..." he suddenly pulled at
her arm... "Willow, you saw Anya...When I...Don't..." The fear had
gone
"Not magics, Xander...Something else...Don't worry..." she patted
him..."I said I'd make it right, didn't I...And I will..."
***
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