"Interviewed by the Vampire..."
Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse, "Normal" Buffyverse page
http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/buffyrebecca/index.html
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon,
Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire
Slayer
series...
Summary: William's first attempt at freelance re****ting is not made
easier by the subjects of his interview...
Part III...
("Are we clear on this?...Mr. Walthrop?..."
"Yeah..."
"Well?..."
"Well, what?..."
"Spike..."
"I told you, Angel...He'll never apologize..."
"Awhat?...Apologize for you insistin' on taking everything I say the
wrong way...Who the hell is workin' for whom here?!..."
"That's it...I wanna file a complaint...A near human, restored soul,
professional does not have to take this..."
"That's for sure...And I can't stands no more..."
"Mr. Walthrop..."
"Angel...This isn't working out...Get me someone else minus the soul of
Susan B. Anthony and with a little..."
"Hah!..."
"I didn't say a thing..."
"It's an implied ***ual comment...Mr. Angel, I wanna file..."
"Harm...Ms. Kendall...A moment, please...Mr. Walthrop?...Could we speak in
my office...Again...For a moment?...Dr. Burkle-Wyndham-Price, would you
join us a moment?..."
Door of office quietly closed...
"Spike, what the hell are you doing?..."
"Eh, Illyria can type it for me...Right, Lyri?..."
"Well...If you think Fred would've..."
"Spike, Illyria is head of a department...She doesn't type..."
"Sure she can...It's easy..."
"Look, Harmony is the only member of the secretarial pool we dare pare
with you...If you want an assistant, she's it..."
"That's ridiculous...We have plenty of willing gi...ladies..."
"Too willing...And half of them are Slayers who remember you from
Buffy..."
"Fondly, I hope..."
"Too fondly...Spike, it's Harmony or you type whatever it is you're
working on by yourself...As it is I'm letting you doodle on the
company's nickel..."
"Well, then...Give me something to do...I've had two years at Cambridge
you know...I can handle executive responsibility...There's more to me than
a studly Champion fighter, you know..."
Mutual eyeing by Illyria and Angel...
"But it's im****tant you finish your account of the battle, William...And
resume your writing..."
"Look, Will...We can't afford a lawsuit right now...And with her restored
soul, Harmony could own this company if a jury heard her story..."
"You two want me to..."
"Buffy would want you to..."
"Tell her to ask His Benevolence to kiss dear Ms. Kendall's..."
"William...She is hurt you know...You know you did hurt her...And none of
us
really tried to help her till we used the soul spell on her...All she
really wants is for you to say you're sorry you hurt her..."
"And that there was nothing ***ual in any of your remarks post her
soul recovery...In emphatic language..."
"I already did...And very nicely too, I thought..."
"Really?...I...Er Fred, knew you had it in you..."
"Course...I wasn't raised by wolves or demons you know..."
"Your mother would be pleased to know you made a lady feel better,
Will..."
"Lyri...The Buffy one was bad enough...That is hitting below the belt..."
"Sorry...But she would, you know...And Harmony wants to work with you...
She's interested in what you're doing, she told me..."
"Really?..."
"You're really helping her with her transition to human society, Will...
And I know it's a little difficult, but you have to make allowances...
Like you and Angel and Charlie...And... Did with me..."
"Transition, eh?..."
"You know how hard it is...Give a her a little slack, Will..."
"I'm not made of stone, girl...Just tell her to get on with it and lets
get back to work..."
"Will..."
"Jesus...All right, get her in...Just don't keep looking at me that
way...")
So, to resume...After a brief pause...
Impulse and instinct...Those two profound aspects of the demonic nature
that so frequently doom the Evil team to inevitable defeat...
("You know, I think you're right...I was a lot less focused and
professional before the soul..." "How nice to have your example to
buttress my point, Ms. Kendall...Thanks..."
Hmmn...Slight frown to his innocently friendly look...
"Shall we continue, Ms. Kendall?...")
In addition to poor choice of armaments, we might consider the effect
of the demonic nature on tactics...
("Aren't you going to ask 'what tactics?'...?" "No..." shrugging shake of
head... )
You might well ask, if you know anything of demons...What tactics?...The
demonic being notorious for restricting their efforts to bullheaded
charges reminiscent of the famed, if quickly proven suicidal,
Japanese banzai attacks of World War II...And you would be quite correct
in general...The instinctual nature of the demon again playing a major
role in his or her downfall...
(And what brilliant tactics did he and Angel come up with?...Club 'em
down as they come?...)
And who better to discuss the tactical end of the battle with than our
own gallant Liam Angel...
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