If at first th idea isnt absurd, then it has no merit.

Subject: If at first th idea isnt absurd, then it has no merit.
Newsgroups: bigpond news:sci.skeptic
Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:03:30 +1000
Lines: 2421
X-ID: <Default>	Radar Fournier	pepp@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 28

pls dont let me live forever
+++

hey semi active psychic blog

+++
shakespears sister
'i dont care'
+++

sorry paulie
i've still got access

"its ok"
"i'm runnin late"

+++

we'll keep growing wont we ?

"humanity , yes"

+++

couldnt believe
how 
large that chick from th future was

+++

freaked me out

+++
marianne faithful
'pirate jenny'
+++

"wot  were ya tryin to steal pirate jenny ?"
ah you know


future secrets

+++

i'm skinny yes but

petite ?

+++

"get over it"

+++

my surf unicycle hasnt come

out of th workshop yet

+++


but my good thing for th

fortnight was

it;s in there

+++


i lasted
three quarters of an hour


in my torture session this morning
fuck that chick is stacked

+++

th young fellas 
whinged when i signed out

hey
how come u get to leave ?


it's compulsory





i've got a problem


<<< smiel ><<

+++

handy bein allergic to girls

soemtimes

+++

they;re happy i
still come along

shows grit

+++

cant place me

in a job

+++


disabled employment service
ya walk in

there;s 
coffee

+++


we all ahd a whinge today

+++

we all got different problems
and we're hearin

crap we all heard
earlier in th system

+++
motorhead
'paranoid'
+++

doesnt th system
take


user
feedback

+++
elvis costello
'watching the detectives'
+++

on i um
mised th lecture on

dress

+++

squattin there
in th basketball court

in thongs

hair
halfway down my back and

one of my
pottery ocarinas


slung around my neck

+++

the adventures of the land surfer

+++

young puppies
u got a lot to learn

about gettin around th system

+++


put in my pension form
for havin sore testicles
on a unicycle

a real wizard

+++


i'm sorry dear the singing unicycle man
of the 

fortitude valley
is dead

+++

"it;s a guy"
"yr biggest fan jennifer"
so

+++

i sang

in th valley of guts



been there

done that

+++
hunters and collectors
'the slab'
+++

i did get sick of
boys and girls

sittin on my legs while i sang and
not fucking me


unrequited love

and drugs n



rock n roll

+++


rock n roll paulie


that character
just

wont let go of me

+++

i got
called an institution and

famous

again

+++


fuck no

time to move on

+++

been famous before

unfamy is always

more fun

+++

anythin i spend

too long on

+++


started in a coles
carpark

can i get

to th top of th 
rise

on a  unicycle

+++

my surf
unicycle is

getting
fully refurbished

+++
big audio dynamite II
'the globe'
+++


fuck th globe i

will be able to surf 

in th surf again

+++

this will be the mark two
version

of th surf unicycle prototype

+++

half a bcicyles he

drags her arse


in th back of th wave

bein pushed along

th big wheel


is in th cavitation zone

+++


i got a little time left i



should be chasing music





land surfing music

+++

music to

ride a unicycle


fully stoned in

the surf


on

+++

let's see if yr in tune computer

next song pls

+++
nirvana
'oh, me'
+++

jesus walking on the water

+++


at least


th observer


clickin away
at th idiot

on a unicycle
in th surf

cant see my stupendous magic

+++


my backwards
predictions on th net

total

273000 confirmed
psychic kills


see th future 
backwards

+++

ah  no

+++

i've left more

legendary traces


of me

floating around


in th record

+++

44

still stuck in puberty

+++

i found a fellow hacker today


he knew
th bbs scene


when we
 waited

twenty minutes

to download a single picture

+++

took a week
to get a file

off th internet

+++

hacking th human mind is

no more difficult

+++

memory mapped files indeed

love u windows 95

+++
nirvana
'come as you are'
+++

i wrote utilities


on th bbs's

+++

learning programming

+++


when i beat

windows 95


in visual basic and

explorer.exe


started answerin questions

i posted my code


liek a good

basic programmer and went


ah fuck man

+++

cracked th front door

th bottom most window


is answering my questions and

i;ve become a low level


systems programmer

+++

in basic

+++

had to kill my

programming website


it ran for

yrs

+++

i look occasionally
at how many times

my hacking code
has been downloaded and

+++
sopranos theme song
'woke up this morning'
+++



ah man

i;ve done it again

+++

when i
wrote th

image recognition software code
in basic


my prgramming mate got
real shirty

+++

cmon man

it;s only designed to



catch porn

that looks th same


th little grey owl has

eyes

+++

image owl

only sees in one colour

red

+++

my desktop pet
written in basic

still wanders
windows xp

the deskchopper
now sees


the shortcut arrow

on th icons


to do it;s 

destruction

+++

yr supposed


to be impossible

+++

but nothing is

+++


if ya asked me

five yrs ago

would i jump a unicycle


monoshock unicycle

over a skatebowl wall


even bein as psychic as i am

i woulda laughed at ya


couldnt get more than

thirty pedals


up that rise


+++
nirvana
'something in the way'
+++

if i didnt have th curse

the testicles form


the head inquisistor;s blood

bein in my body


but i do

+++

got th radar love and


th hex vision that

tenacious d sing about

+++

i started a

psychic blog

+++

i wanted to understand my gift and

kept plucking away at it

+++


and left my trail

+++

th psychic blog
killed th programming website

i'm sorry i
dont do upgrades often

+++

windows xp
changed its

shortcut arrow colour
and my code went for a loop

more code ya download and
it dont contain


all th facts
not th latest version

+++

the singing unicycle man
of the fortitude valley

has been parked
for four  months

+++
the black eyed peas
'where is the love'
+++

i got
other ppl to share with


sorry

+++


i'm psychic and
he;s whinging

 i
dont play the heart beat drum

centre of the 

valley mall

anymore




and sing liek a girl

+++

six yrs

+++

th  last couple

in th valley

+++

surfers paradise

has started callin me again

+++

and my 
surf unicycle

is in th workshop

+++

used to sing

on th corner of


caville avenue

with womble

+++

he;s toured in a rock band

th guy he was sharin a house with


toured with several rock bands


we;d hear


why dont ya get a real job and

it;s just


th music is more personal

when th drug fucked


are layin on yr feet


+++

th third time



i got pictures snapped of me


from a leica camera



whiel i sang in th street


oh dear

+++


when th c programmers


staretd writin to me

pelading for 
aclanguage version
of myc ode

caue they knew

i hacked


th ijg jpeg code

and made a dll out of it

+++
pj harvey
'send his love to me'
+++

he'll do it for nothing


just for karma

+++

sent some code to this guy in england

and he kept his job


soemthin i wrote

for soemone else


and my old

ashby
tour de france

racing bicycle


landed on my front door


th next day

+++



fuck man

+++


that one event

+++

long before i started blogging


didnt call it that then


+++

was just an
online diary

at tripod

+++

got too wild

+++

i got kicked off

th www


a coupel of times

+++


cool

+++

the lethal kadaictha man of kuta

has left


a legendary trail

i'm passing th mantle to


kuta lady


dont think she wants it but



kutaman


wants to go walkabout again

+++


u have th magic

i dont care wot they think kuta lady


u are th 

next local withcdoctor

+++


my magic is too big

to be local

+++

my mothers blood money curse

+++
cake
'i will survive'
+++

dropped

the world trade centre

+++


the money hub of the world

+++

and we did it

online


kuta

+++

cant bee
the local witchdocotor anymore

+++

even just
claiming australia


being th 
witchdoctor of australia


by th time th fuckers


find out i exist
i'll be bored of it

+++

my magic is big enough

i can move mountains

+++

fuck man
paul gallico man


wrote 

the boy who was magic

+++

i


wrote a curse


in a newsnet server


pointed th bone of death

at the islamic terrorist cunts and


thats a request to my

god


the land 

and


the northern pakistan earthquake

hit th next day


one hundrd thosuand 


dead


of course i

just see th future backwards and



that doesnt explain everything

+++

i fucked up

i can prove




god exists

+++

any real psychic can

+++

ah man

i;ve done it again

+++
chris isaak
'wicked game'
+++

pope benedict
in my bloodline

do u know
how much this stuff

hurts th ppl
around me

those close to me

+++


but my

aching testicles


that punish me
for smelling female
pheremones

my wizard;s curse

are my



psyche

+++

where are we going guys ?

+++

i'm on a journey
on which

i have no control

+++


so psychic
th future


drips thru my diary like
thpast that i keep having to 

write

to balance it

+++

th unciycle

zen

it taught me so many things

+++


everything
must have balance

+++

i'm magic as
i feel shit about it

+++

done so much nasty magic
in th name

of
kuta


a black honey

of a stingless bee

+++


the traditional
kadaitcha man

is
the singer of tribe

+++

i sing background
to musicians

in th street
not for money

for th magic

+++

th background singer
nails th changes


psychic as

+++
sugababes
'overload'
+++

i proposed to a woman
on th internet

she went and got married
a yr later to th day

being th
hypersensitive

female side of th wizard
i imploded

i proposed to
nicole kidman on th internet and

my psyche
yelled at me

+++

it's

destroying my

psychic blog

+++

th last woman
i gave a magic child to

destroyed me

+++

lost everything i owned

+++

my male half is

+++

oh dear

+++

black is still

having conniptions

+++

yeah we're nobody

today


and when we did it but

i'm the wizard of oz



the real wizard of oz

+++

and she was open about it

she wants magic

+++ 

a superstar she

+++
?
't138'
+++

cessna 138 zulu one clearance - lyric

+++
royksopp
'eple'
+++


if what she was sayin wasnt just
plaff or th


cameras
i'm in big trouble


women never look after me

+++

th last
reddheaded nymphomaniac


in love with th wizard
had a portrait of th wizard

commisioned for me
and not long after

stuffed me out a window by my hair and




started punchin th shit out of me

and never ever

got th fact


i'm allergic to girls


+++

and lea-anne

hot redhead

down th egde of island

used ot tek me

jenny

dirty dancing

with five of her girlfriends

+++
ludwig van beethoven
'symphony no 9(scherzo)
+++


back when i was


the singing facepainted unicycle man


of surfers paradise


and flew a surfboard

above my head

down cavill avanue



after midnight

+++
jet
'look what you;ve done'
+++

womble has a party on next week


i'm singin at it and


if i still dont have my

500 dollar car onth roiad


he's comin to pick me up

+++


and lea-anne is ringing

+++

and womble's old flatmate

th drumemr has

started to get really weirdedout but

he wrote this fucking


incredible song and


womble and i have both


worked on it and

th thre of us havent




jammed on it together yet

+++

remember our last jam guys ?

+++

wall had this
set of five drums and


womble had his
keyboards out of hock and


my jenny singin voice was
well placed

three pretty chicks in th room
chameleon i am

i nick everything

+++


th thing that shits me nickie is

+++
ezee posse
'everything starts with an e'
+++


womble
is goin out with a girl

who used to drink
with keith urban

+++

his ex

knew everybody

+++


her ex was a

standup comedian

+++

for th far future and

idiots now

keith urban

married
nicole kidman

+++

keith urban is
a famous rock star


nicole kidman is
a famous hollywood star

+++

i'm th wizard of oz but

it;s  a secret identity

+++

fuck man

my life is too 

fucking weird

+++
violent femmes
'kiss off'(live)
+++

care factor

+++

my male half says

she'll come after me


and stick my

contract in my face


from th 

black honey man


and th black honey beehive



my reality chip says

no fuckin way


that wont happen

+++

i'm psychic

i dont get everything


i talk to god

i'm not


god

+++

in my heart
i know she's a nice woman

wouldnt have proposed ot her otherwise
my jaded male half

been married twice
says

fucking run girl

+++

bein a 
suspected
half black tranny


dont know who my father is

and sing liek a girl

wouldnt  frighten her


keith isnt her
first rock star and


paulo
th jaded fuck says

not her last

+++

do i get
any fuckin say in this

+++


"doe she ?"

fair comment


but i'm just relating my reality
to my diary

+++
tenacious d 
'lee'
+++


fuckin lee

+++

huge red hair
big as mine


would rag me
dirty dancing me


i'm allergic to chicks ya dumb bitch
she; pour cones down my throat

bongs
andmu;ltiple bourboins itll

i;d take her
dirty dancing

+++
kevin bloody wilson
'country bumpkin'
+++

i wanna go hide

on a hippy farm

+++

"that's doable"

"we got a hippy family who love us"

"paulei jenny"

+++

arent i hiding from them at th moment ?

+++

"and if ya dont turn up at  christmas jenny"

umm

+++

jennifer

my gay lady friend


gives th most amazing cuddle

+++


th other kuta lady

kutalady;s ex girlfriend

+++


u chicks called me

kutaman

+++

and kuta lady 

just keeps handin me bongs

+++

so i wont feel my testicles and

she can chat to her friend

jenny

+++

womble does much th same thing

+++
midnight oil
golden age'
+++

pour ten bongs down jenny's throat and

leave th stereo on

+++

eventually


she'll drag u out to


sing

+++

after midnight

+++


allergic to girls and


half girl


signint o chciska nd

watchin em

gyreate and bend

tryinto egt intot h
broekn rhtythm

i'm playin

on th heartbeat drum

+++

she cant

cause it doesnt make sense


i keep changing

tiem signatures and


th guy on th flamenco guitar

beside me


is also jamming and


we're fiften minutes into


wot started as

elevator music with edge and



i'm singin at th top of my lungs th



lesbian blues



my fingers are too slow
will ya hurry upa nd get off btich

i wanan og nightclubbign and


th batterys inth vibrator

have died and


my fingers are too fuckin slow

+++
gorillaz
'dare'
+++


i know it;s wrong

i got testicles




but so is
cumming liek a girl

in th msuic

like robert polant
in led zeppelin


it makes th girls wet

+++

specially on th dance floor

+++


been singin

on strete corners
in surfers
paradise


for a couple hours in
facepaint


dirtyd ancin
ian nightclub
withf ive chciks and

still singin
background

but

+++

th mad tranny bitch has

huge lungs


and veen over

th 120 decibels

int hnightclub
th whole place can hear me

go over th edge


went foreground

+++

but th chick behind th bar

is feedin me


triple vodkas

and i pay for one but


get th change of 

th price of three 

+++

fuck i have lived

+++
city high
'15 will get you 20'
+++


and in th bar across th road
i got laid

by th head witch of th gold coast


in th doorway

of th nightclub

+++

my head is spinning

+++

ah man

+++

lift me up now lord

+++

i've done

so any impossible things i


cant tell my life story with a straight face


maybe standup

+++

or just fuckin lie

+++

find that hard

+++

had to tell th truth

to get big magic


no secrets magic

+++

i'm safe from er paulo

honest to god

+++
xtc
'senses working overtime'
+++

i think she'll stay with this guy

he;s got magic

+++

and i know for a fact

nickie has magic

i dont do 
big magic

for anythin that aint a real witch

+++

i'm sorry nickie
yr wish was

to be magic

my job



is to prove it

+++
cake
'i will survive'
+++

i probly will
th testicles
dont give me

any choice about that

+++


my masters

+++

i can 
stop myself raping women

rather go down on myself
th bitch would fall in love with me

+++

and i';d just end up

in a bed


with a woman who aint fuckin me

again

+++

"it;s goin up"
"on yrself jenny"

shutup paulo
sum cunt from th future

might not understand that

+++


gotta write yr diary so
it;s semi readable

an electronic diary

not all of it

will survive


but some will

+++

my adventures get

more insane

as time goes by

+++


the adventures of the land surfer

as always
the land surfer

being pronounced

the kadaitcha man of australia


english translation


the witchdoctor of australia

"the wizard of oz"


disney would sue



"sue me and be damned"

"i'm way too fuckin lethal to sue"

+++
powderfinger 
'stumblin'
+++

"in my world"

"the writer of"

"the wizard of oz"

"was psychic"
"And just saw me"

that's egotistical

"so"

+++

"how much magic have i got ?"

we dropped th


world trade cente

with a blood money curse


th money trail concurrs and


smack on day seven

+++

"so pirate jenny stole"
"usama bin ladens event"

why ?
"cause we;re really psychic"

+++

it does take th piss out of him
kuta religion's

instrument
nothing more

+++


i'll spread it wider paulo but

we run an awful risk

+++
grinspoon
'chemical heart'
+++


"lots and lots and lots of"

"drugs"

+++

liek when we ran th pary house
in brisbane

the farm
in my teens

+++

my motorcycle
parked in

th living room

+++

220 teenagers

hangin out

on a wednesday night

+++

black ?

+++
xtc
'senses working overtime'(live in holland)
+++

i'm half dutch

+++

i never 
got caught

for breaking
windows 95's

front end
in basic

+++


they coudlnt understand
why i didnt stand up

+++


because it could kill me

too many girls
camer and

a closed room


and not enough


marijuana

and my heart stops

+++

th testicle pain goes

stellar

+++

hypersensitive

+++

"superpsychic"
balance  unicycle man

+++
kanye west
'golddigger'
+++
jet
'look what you've done'
+++

i'm gunna hurt some ppl


th magic will 


out

+++


ya shouldnt read ppl's diarys

and comment

it aint good for yr health

+++

magic's easy

+++

it;s gettin up that first rise


thats; th hard part

+++

cunts get jealous


of somethin u

worked yr guts out


to achieve

+++


so they run out

into h surf

and knock ya down

cause yr ridin

in th wtater

+++

cause they cant do it

it;s not
that they cant it;s


they wont try

+++

i cant do that

ride a unicycle


tried it










once














and gave up

+++


u know how many times i fucking fell off

before i could jump gutters at speed


ride straight over
traffic islands and

pull up at a busker mate

with two coffees and


stop th unicycle with a broadslide

+++

dont judge a book

by it;s cover


it could kill u

..
..
..


the stoners bible

+++
p.s.

the adventures of the land surfer
cast of characters

pirate jenny
"black"
'the land surfer"



the offspring
'walla walla'