By Stephen Jossler
May 30, 2007 | Issue 43.22
I consider myself a rational person. When I have a question, I turn to
science and logic to find the answer. Regarding the origins of life,
science
tells us that humans evolved from single-celled organisms to our current
form through a process of natural selection that took billions of years.
This much is clear to anyone with any background in modern thinking. We
can
look at the fossil record and trace many of our genetic traits back to
ancient species. In fact, scientific reasoning can explain nearly every
stage of life from the Big Bang to the present day. I say "nearly" because
the period that scientists claim lasted from roughly 205 to 250 million
years ago, commonly known as the Triassic period, was quite obviously the
work of the Lord God Almighty.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those religious nut cases who denies
that
evolution is real. Of course evolution is real, just not during the
"Triassic period."
This so-called Triassic period saw the formation of scleractinian corals
and
a slight changeover from warm-blooded therapsids to cold-blooded
archosauromorphs. Clearly, such breathtakingly subtle modifications could
only have been achieved by an active intelligence.
The secular Triassicists would have you believe that these changes were
just
the result of millions of years of nature favoring certain genes over
others
in order to adapt, the same way evolution worked prior to the Triassic.
Obviously, that doesn't make any sense. Think about it: I'm supposed to
believe that the same process that we know slowly changed us from simple
bacteria into highly advanced reptiles over the course of the Paleozoic
era
is also responsible for turning us into highly advanced reptiles with
different body lengths? Do these people ever pause to think how ridiculous
they sound as they advance these theories?
For a half-dozen million years, life advanced from prokaryotes to
primitive
fish to mammal-like reptiles via natural selection, and we're supposed to
believe that that just continued happening? I don't think so. Isn't it
much
more likely that a formless, invisible deity intervened, tem****arily
stopped
the course of evolution, and shaped each and every trilobite over a period
of six days? Of course it is, at least to any objective observer.
So, if you follow my reasoning to its logical end, the only sound
conclusion
is that, at some point, God paused evolution and stepped in, made a few
modifications, and boom! Pterosaurs. There is simply no way evolution
alone
could be responsible for the giant leap between archosaurs and other,
different archosaurs with better developed hip joints and slightly
differently shaped teeth.
Everything about the Triassic period points to divine involvement. Let me
ask you this: Could some kind of random genetic chance make the population
of shelled cephalopods grow significantly? No, of course not. So the only
logical explanation is that there was an infinite and all-knowing
cephalopod
creator who modified their mollusk foot into a muscular hydrostat that
eventually, on the sixth day, became a tentacle.
So, when I tell you that after the Paleozoic era, Ceratodon lungfish
became
relatively common, it naturally follows that someone created that lungfish
by hand and then took out one of its lungfish ribs and combined it with
the
dust of the Earth to create a female lungfish.
In the beginning, there were a few billion years of speciation and gene
drift. And then nothing. And then, God made the lungfish and the
trilobites,
the ichthyosaurs and ammonoids with more complex suture patterns. He also
made a couple new ferns.
And the Lord saw that these slight modifications were good, and allowed
evolution to resume as normal in the Jurassic period and on up to the
present day.
Now that I've inarguably proven the truth, we need to take a stand against
these pseudoscientists who are misrepresenting 300-million-year-old
fossils
as 230-million-year-old fossils and claiming the Earth is 44 million years
and 51 weeks older than it really is.
We need to get the Triassic period expunged from our public schools'
evolutionary textbooks. I don't want my children to be exposed to this
blasphemous Triassic garbage, and I assume you don't want your children to
be, either. They need to know that God is watching over them always, and
that he has a plan for each and every one of them-a nonlinear,
probabilistic
plan he set in motion more than three billion years ago with single-celled
organisms, ended with a group of small, lizard-like herbivores, infused
with
a bunch of miracles, and then restarted.
We can no longer ignore the empirical evidence.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90311455
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_believe_in_evolution_except
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