lab~rat >:-) <chase@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:ovi7f3l1koek1rt2q6pchakfbfb85mpspa@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:58:08 GMT, "Bill Reid"
> <hormelfree@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> puked:
>
> >
> >lab~rat >:-) <chase@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> >news:oem4f311e7ub0mm8v000s8102t8joba0q7@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >> On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 01:03:03 GMT, "Bill Reid"
> >> <hormelfree@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> puked:
> >>
> >> >
> >> >techdino <techdino@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> >> >news:1190215737.306204.256810@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >> >> On Sep 19, 6:13 am, "lab~rat >:-)" <ch...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >> >> > On Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:07:25 GMT, DaveJohnson12@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
puked:
> >> >> > >On Fri, 14 Sep 2007 17:13:18 -0000, techdino
<techd...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> >> >wrote:
> >> >> >
> >> >> > >>On Aug 30, 1:12 pm, "lab~rat >:-)" <ch...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >> >> > >>> On Thu, 30 Aug 2007 10:24:17 -0400, RockNRo...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
(Manfred
> >> >> > >>> Noland) puked:
> >> >
> >> >...nothing of any im****tance at all...
> >> >
> >> >The im****tant thing is that Jessica Alba has been trying to
> >> >promote her new movie that will be in theaters in two days
> >> >for three days by revealing that she broke off a large ****tion
> >> >of one of her front teeth on Dane Cook's bony skull during a
> >> >kissing scene, requiring a near-Heather Locklear-sized cap...
> >>
> >> For some reason, the idea of a toothless Jessica Alba turns me on...
> >
> >How about the sight of her increasingly visible gristly segmented
> >trachea poking out between her neck tendons?
> >
> >> >In a related story, "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love
> >> >Hewitt revealed a few years ago that she contracted "trench
> >> >mouth" in Mexico, and the dentist told her she'd have to
> >> >have root canals on all her teeth in order to save them, but
> >> >she claimed the pain was so great to do just one she decided
> >> >she'd rather have all her teeth fall out than have any more
> >> >root canals.
> >>
> >> Jennifer Love Hewitt is a horeseface for the record...
> >
> >And what's the first thing you do when you buy a horse?
> >
> >CHECK THE TEETH!!!
> >
> >> >Close inspection of her mouth in the intervening months
> >> >revealed white spots on her teeth like they were rotting from
> >> >the inside, then she suddenly appeared with a set of choppers
> >> >that were pure ****celain-white and about three times as
> >> >large as previously, almost Barry Gibb-sized...it appears
> >> >she may need to occasionally borrow Polident(TM) from
> >> >Howard Stern these days...
> >> >
> >> >And this concludes today's re****t on young female actresses
> >> >that George Wa****ngton would laugh at...
> >
> >Perhaps I should add: ever notice Sheryl Crow's humongous
> >two front teeth that even Santa couldn't get down a chimney?
> >FAKE!!!...she knocked out the originals in a skateboarding accident...
> At this time I am obligated to mention Beth Ostrosky.
Why? Is she Jewish?
Look, I'm going to have to turn over all the cards on Ms. Alba.
In her latest desperate attempt to promote her idiotic movie, she
resorted to carny-style geekery on "The Tonight Show".
First she demonstrated some pretty disturbing double-jointedness
by bending her third phlangal thumb joints back far beyond mere
normal opposability into the realm of freakish right-anglehood.
But as if that weren't enough, she then demonstrated that she
could move each of her eyeballs independantly of the other, which
I swear to God, almost made me vomit involuntarily, like something
out of "Pink Flamingos".
But as I recovered from my sudden attack of nausea, I suddenly
realized that JESSICA ALBA HAS THE WONKIEST EYES I'VE
EVER SEEN, and as I've said before I've actually known girls with
birth defects who required corrective operations on their eyes and
they were nowhere NEAR as wonky...
She also likes to brag about how much she loves to drink hard
liquor, so it's starting to become pretty clear: her alcoholism must
have been inherited, and she must have suffered multiple birth defects
(the remora-like lips, bulging windpipe, etc.) as the result of her
mother being drunk when pregnant with her.
Sorry to have to bring this your attention, but fax iz fax...
---
William Ernest Reid
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