"I P Seldom" <bashfulbladder@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:4WZVb.267099$xy6.1376992@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Alexander Cain wrote:
>
> > "I P Seldom" <bashfulbladder@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> > news:w8ZVb.266576$xy6.1376239@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >
> >>Alexander Cain wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>"richard" <rich310@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> >>>news:pan.2004.02.10.01.36.32.558802@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>On Tue, 10 Feb 2004 00:31:27 +0000, I P Seldom wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>>Today is normally my day off, but I was asked if I would work for a
> >>>>>different store and do the day shift.
> >>>>>I had no problem with that, it's extra money, after all.
> >>>>>After several non-tippers, and only one decent tip, I began to
wonder
> >
> > if
> >
> >>>>>maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.
> >>>>>But then I got the delivery to change it all.
> >>>>>I get this run to an area I'm not all that familiar with, but I
manage
> >>>>>to find the house in short order.
> >>>>>I live in Iowa, in Des Moines, as many of you know, and there's a
lot
> >
> > of
> >
> >>>>>snow on the ground here.
> >>>>>This house had a lot of concrete steps leading up to the front
porch,
> >>>>>and they were unshoveled.
> >>>>>Getting up them without falling did not seem to be a realistic
> >>>
> >>>proposition.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>>I glanced down at my driver's tag, and it mentioned that I needed
to
go
> >>>>>to the back door.
> >>>>>So I'm thinking "great, I have to stumble up all those steps, then
hike
> >>>>>through the snow around the house."
> >>>>>So I call the guy.
> >>>>>He answers, and I ask him "How do I get to your back door?"
> >>>>>And he goes "Uh...the alley...." all sarcastic, like I was supposed
to
> >>>>>have known.
> >>>>>I honestly hadn't noticed the alley, because sometimes dense snow
masks
> >>>>>little things like alley entrances.
> >>>>>So I went to the alley, which was unplowed, and my car plowed ahead
to
> >>>>>the area behind this guy's house.
> >>>>>It's then that I see that I will have to wade clear through his
yard
to
> >>>>>his back door, but that's okay, I'm getting used to this.
> >>>>>So I park in the alley, and turn my hazards on.
> >>>>>And it is while wading through the snow to the dude's house I begin
to
> >>>>>see the signs.
> >>>>>"Beware of dog" one warned, another, taped to his door, stated
that,
no
> >>>>>offense was intended, but visitors were not to come unannounced,
but
> >>>>>must first call.
> >>>>>The house was kind of dilapidated, as was the garage, and there was
> >>>>>stuff leaning against the house, most notably, a pair of skis.
> >>>>>So the dude has his door half open, and is standing there, and he
goes
> >>>>>"why didn't you pull into the driveway?"
> >>>>>"What driveway?"
> >>>>>He points by the garage, where there is nothing but snow, and
> >
> > absolutely
> >
> >>>>>no indication of a driveway.
> >>>>>"I didn't see the driveway" I stated, as though it was an obvious
> >>>>>driveway which I had just somehow missed.
> >>>>>He still had that sort of smart-assed attitude about him too, like
I
> >
> > was
> >
> >>>>>supposed to have known the geography of his house and property.
> >>>>>The order was $11.25, and he handed me a twenty and two ones, so I
gave
> >>>>>him a five and five ones back, hoping for a tip.
> >>>>>Nope, you guessed it, after all that, I didn't get but seventy-five
> >>>
> >>>cents.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>>So I head back to my car, bitching about wading through the snow,
and
> >>>>>how I didn't figure there was any guarantee I'd make it out of the
> >>>>>unplowed alley I had parked in.
> >>>>>When I got back to the shop, after this guy put me through a bunch
of
> >>>>>grief already, and didn't tip to boot, he had called the store and
> >>>>>complained.
> >>>>>Chris, an insider who had transferred from my store to this one,
said
> >>>>>"the guy you just delivered to called and said it's not his fault
you
> >>>>>couldn't find his driveway, and to watch your mouth."
> >>>>>But, oh well, I didn't get into any trouble about it, and I learned
a
> >>>>>lesson I already knew: "wait until you get into your car before you
> >>>>>bitch about a customer."
> >>>>>So I checked back in, and went back to my drop box to drop this
dude's
> >>>>>twenty, when I realized something very interesting.
> >>>>>The ink was running.
> >>>>>The bill had gotten wet, and the ink, on the serial number, was
> >
> > running.
> >
> >>>>>This is never supposed to happen.
> >>>>>I've ran bills through the washing machine accidentally and the ink
> >>>>>didn't run.
> >>>>>This was a counterfeit twenty-dollar-bill.
> >>>>>So I looked up the US Secret Service and called in.
> >>>>>The guy who answered was pleasant enough, and I asked him, "Is the
ink
> >>>>>supposed to run or smudge on a twenty-dollar-bill?"
> >>>>>"No, never."
> >>>>>"Well, I have a twenty here you guys might be interested in."
> >>>>>"You have it?"
> >>>>>"Yes, and I know exactly where it came from."
> >>>>>"Hang on," and now he sounds excited, "let me transfer you to an
> >
> > agent."
> >
> >>>>>Now *I* was getting excited.
> >>>>>So I hold, and then an agent gets right on the phone.
> >>>>>I told him the story, and about how secretive the dude's house is,
with
> >>>>>the sign and all.
> >>>>>He said that he would go out to the guy's house TODAY and check him
> >
> > out.
> >
> >>>>>He also asked me to send the twenty in, and gave me an address.
> >>>>>The Secret Service won't reimburse me for the twenty, but he said
he'd
> >>>>>tell the guy that he owed me twenty dollars.
> >>>>>I don't think I'll see that twenty again, but I might see a
non-tipper
> >>>>>put in jail, assuming he's the guy who printed the money.
> >>>>>Or assuming he has a great deal more stashed somewhere on his
property.
> >>>>>Or, it could be that he isn't responsible at all, and that he
received
> >>>>>it from someone else, and just passed it on.
> >>>>>But, I should find out more soon, and I'll be sure to post
follow-ups
> >
> > on
> >
> >>>>>here.
> >>>>>Rusty
> >>>>
> >>>>You son of a bitch.
> >>>>
> >>>>You fucking nark.
> >>>>
> >>>>I hope you get stiffed on your next 10 deliveries. You piece of
shit.
> >>>>
> >>>>That guy probably got it from somebody else and now you soiled his
good
> >>>>name and he'll probably end up with a felony on his record.
> >>>>
> >>>>You are a real son of a bitch.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>Figures that the pizza boy would be a tattletale. Playground tactics
> >
> > are
> >
> >>>nothing new to such immature, small-brained losers.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >>That's just funny, Alex Cain calling me small-brained.
> >
> >
> >
> > You're a pizza boy. Evolution passes you over like a tip on a $50
> > delivery.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >>And then she/he calls me a tattletale at the same time she/he accuses
me
> >>of playground tactics.
> >
> >
> >
> > Tattletelling *is* playground tactics, you fucking narc. Send me a
copy
of
> > the Patriot Act so I can wipe my ass with it.
> >
> >
> >
> >
>
> You're so funny Alex, I love it when you get all worked up and stop
> making any sense whatsoever.
I'm making perfect sense, pizza boy. It's not my fault if you're a
brainless automaton who can't figure out his head from his ass.
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