I was just wondering about something.
Sometimes when a baby is born, the mother has a BM (bowel movement)
right as the baby is sliding down the birth canal. This is because
the mother's muscles that control the mother having a BM (bowel
movement) are so close to those she uses to push the baby out, that
control can be lost. Now child birth centers and the staff at
Emergency Departments generally are use to this, and don't make a big
deal of it. They just consider it part of the process.
Now, I wonder if that old trickster Dixie McCall told Gauge and Desoto
about this? I suspect she didn't. Couldn't you just see them on the
walkie-talkie phone with Rampart...
Gauge: "Everything is just going fine. The head is coming out now."
Bracket: "Good. Continue having the mother push"
Gauge: "Oh My God! What is this? There is a large, brown piece of
something coming out. Oh God! It's a BM (bowel movement)!!!!"
Dixie laughing in background
Bracket: "Standby Squad 51"
Bracket: "Dixie! You didn't tell them that sometimes when a baby is
born, the mother has a BM (bowel movement) right as the baby is
sliding down the birth canal. This is because the mother's muscles
that control the mother having a BM (bowel movement) are so close to
those she uses to push the baby out, that control can be lost, did
you?"
Dixie: "No! Wanted them to experience this 'miracle of birth'
themselves!"
Bracket laughing hysterically
Dixie laughing hysterically
Bracket trying to compose himself: "Squad 51, did you say a BM (bowel
movement?)"
Gauge: "Yes Rampart, it's a BM (bowel movement)!"
Bracket trying to compose himself: "Squad 51, describe the BM (bowel
movement)."
Gage thinking what the fuck?" "Rampart, the BM (bowel movement) is
about 8 inches in length, probably about 2 inches in diameter, brown
with bits of corn and a peanut sticking out of it."
Dixie on the floor laughing hysterically, wiping tears of laughter
from her eyes.
Bracket on the floor laughing hysterically, wiping tears of laughter
from his eyes.
Bracket: "Squad 51, wrap the BM (bowel movement) in a plastic bag,
and transport immediately!"
Bracket can't contain himself any longer, and wets his pants laughing!
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