TITLE Circles (pt.8)
AUTHOR: Naomi Pardue
GENRE: LKo/AL
RATING: PG-13
TIMELINE: Late S9. (spring 2003)
DISCLAIMERS: I own these words. Someone else very rich owns everything
else.
"Thank you." Susan wasn't sure if Carter was thanking the paramedic on the
other end of the radio, or uttering a prayer. He put the mic down and then
sup****ted himself for a moment on the edge of the desk. She could see him
trembling.
The news was good. Abby was alive. She was conscious and alert, and her
vitals
were stable. Much more than that, they didn't know. But they were all
guessing
... imagining.
"John," Kerry said. "Susan and I will take this one."
"No, I'm fine."
"You couldn't possibly be professional, and there's no reason you should
have
to force yourself to try. We'll evaluate her, and as soon as possible you
can
come in and be with her ... as her friend, *not* her doctor. You go see if
Pratt needs help. We'll let you know as soon as we know anything."
Carter sighed, then headed towards Trauma 1, where the 14 year old had
just
been taken moments before.
Susan knew full well why Kerry didn't want Carter working on Abby. She had
not,
apparently, been badly hurt. She obviously hadn't been shot. But she had
been
injured; Brian had done *something* to her, that was clear. It was very
likely
then, that he had raped her. And Carter shouldn't have to deal with that.
Susan
wished that *she* didn't have to deal with it. But she knew that, as hard
as it
was going to be for her, it would still be easier for her than for Carter.
She could already hear the sirens as she and Kerry headed towards the bay
to
wait for the ambulance. Out in the bay with Kerry, she met her eyes for
moment.
Neither spoke, but Susan could see that Kerry was just as nervous as she
was.
A few moments later the ambulance pulled in, and Susan and Kerry hurried
to
help lift down the gurney. Abby lay on it.
"Alert and oriented times 3," the paramedic was saying. "A little tachy at
110,
BP 120 over 80, resps 30."
Susan wasn't really listening though. Of course Abby was tachy and
breathing
too fast, she thought. She was upset and crying, almost hysterical. Her
face
was badly cut and bruised, and there was a sharply delineated rectangular
patch
around her mouth that was raw and red.
As soon as she saw Susan and Kerry, she said, "Please ... you have to get
help
for Luka. He's hurt ... he could be dead ... I kept trying to tell them
..."
"Abby!" Susan said. "It's ok."
"No ... he was going to kill ..."
"We know. He's already here. We're taking care of him." Susan kept her own
voice very calm.
Abby looked from Susan to Kerry, and Kerry said, "Yes, Abby. He's here
already."
"He's ok?" Abby was little calmer now too.
"We're taking good care of him," Susan said again gently. "Now, I don't
want
you to worry about Luka. Let's think about yourself right now."
Abby didn't miss Susan's hedging, and hysteria came back into her voice.
"He's
dead, isn't he? He's dead and you're not telling me." They had reached the
trauma room, and Abby tried to look through the glass into the other room
where
Carter and Pratt were working. Susan saw Carter look up too, trying to see
Abby. "Is he in there?"
"Close the blinds, Haleh," Kerry said softly, then to Abby. "Abby, Luka
isn't
dead."
"Then, where is he? I want to see him."
"He's up in surgery. You can see him when he comes out."
"Then you don't *know* that he's alive. He could have died ...."
"When I brought him upstairs," Susan said, "he was conscious and stable.
There's no reason to think anything's gone wrong. I'm sure he's doing just
fine, and the surgeons are doing their best to help him. And you don't
have to
worry about Brian either. He won't be hurting you or Luka ... or anyone
anymore."
"They caught him already?" Abby asked. There was hope and, for the first
time,
relief in her voice.
"He's dead." Blunt.
"The police killed him?" Amazement, but not shock or disappointment.
"He thoughtfully did the job himself." Susan was a little amazed herself
at the
harshness in her own voice and words. She should care that a man was dead
...
even a man as despicable as Brian Westlake. But, looking at Abby, and
remembering what Luka had looked like, she couldn't really care at all.
She was
just glad that the world was rid of him. "So, don't fret about Brian or
about
Luka. Let's just check you over."
"I'm not really hurt," Abby said. "Just bruised. And my wrist ... I think
I
sprained it when I fell ... when he knocked me down."
"Ok. Well, we still need to evaluate you," Susan said.
"Susan," Kerry said softly. "If you've got this, the board's backing up
with
minors."
"Sure. Go ahead." Susan nodded, and returned her attention to Abby.
*Would* she
be able to maintain her professional detachment? It had been hard enough
with
Luka, but Luka had never been a particularly close friend, and he'd been
unconscious during the worst moments of it. But Abby ... God ... Abby was
her
friend, and she had just lived through every woman's worst nightmare.
Abby was dressed in a robe, tied loosely and carelessly, but she clutched
it
around her with both hands. Not so tightly though that Susan couldn't see
that
she was ****d beneath it.
"Abby, we need to take this off. As soon as I've checked your breasts and
belly, we'll get you a gown, ok?"
Abby bit her lip, then nodded and let her hands fall, then used one of
them to
wipe at her eyes. And Susan saw the same raw redness on her wrists and
arms ...
and noticed more of it on her ankles. As her hands brushed against Abby's
wrist, she felt a slight stickiness. Duct-tape, she realized. God ... he'd
tied
her up and gagged her with duct tape. The sick bastard. Her left wrist was
rather swollen, and Abby winced as Susan touched it.
Bruises on her breasts and belly, including one rather deep one around the
umbilicus. Susan palpated her abdomen gently. "Let me know if I hurt
you," she
said. Abby just nodded, a few tears still slipping out. Then she winced
again
as Susan touched the deep bruise. "That's tender?" Susan asked.
"Yeah. He ... put his knee there."
"Ok. We'll check it with the sonosite. There could be some internal
bleeding."
"I don't think so. It's just a bad bruise."
"We need to check anyway."
While Haleh helped Abby into a gown, Susan asked gently, "Were you raped,
Abby?"
A silent nod.
"Ok. Haleh, can you get a rape kit?"
"Is that necessary?" Abby asked. "I mean ... we know who did it, and if
he's
dead ..."
"We still need to, I'm sorry. You know that we have to. I'll be as quick
about
it as I can."
Susan hated doing rape exams. She'd never met a doctor who *didn't* hate
doing
them. But this was probably the worst one she had ever done. It was a
struggle
to keep her own voice calm, keep her own hands from shaking as she did the
necessary things, asked the necessary questions. And Abby quietly answered
the
questions, her own voice deceptively calm despite the tears running down
her
face. No, she hadn't had intercourse in the previous 72 hours. Yes, there
had
been vaginal penetration. No ... yes ... no ... about 3 weeks in ... "
And finally, after a very long five minutes, Susan was able to say, "Ok,
Abby.
That's all done. There's a small contusion at the introitus, but no other
local
injuries."
A shaky, humorless laugh from Abby. "Well, I wasn't exactly a virgin."
Susan couldn't think of any response to that, besides a brief half-smile
and a
sigh. She quickly finished the remainder of the physical exam, then said,
"Ok.
There don't seem to be any serious injuries. Mostly just contusions and
scrapes. The cut on your cheek could use a couple of sutures to minimize
the
scarring as it heals. Your wrist does just appear to be sprained, but I'd
like
to get an x-ray to rule out a fracture. And, given the bruises on your
head and
face, a CT would be wise to check for a head injury. You could have a
concussion. Is that ok?"
"Yeah."
"And you'll need antibiotics to cover any possible STDs. Given that you're
three weeks into your cycle, pregnancy is unlikely, but not impossible.
I'll
leave it up to you if you want emergency contraception or not."
"I'm on the pill," Abby said softly.
"Ok then." Susan remembered her promise to Carter. Maybe it was time to
let him
come in, while they waited for CT to be ready. "It will probably be a few
minutes before we can take you up to CT," she started to say.
"Can I see Luka, while I wait?"
"He's not going to be out of surgery for a while. He just went in a few
moments
before you arrived."
"How ... bad was it?" Susan hesitated. "Please, Susan. Did Brian shoot
him?"
"Yes. He was shot twice in the chest, and it's pretty bad. But the
bullets
missed his heart. We were able to get him stabilized and he should have a
very
good chance. He was unconscious when he got here, but he woke up while we
were
working on him." She smiled. "He was very worried about you. I guess Brian
told
him what he'd done. He was very determined that we knew that you were
hurt, so
we could get you help."
"*He* told you?!"
"Yeah. Wouldn't let us take him up to surgery until he had. Which took
some
time, since he was intubated and unable to talk."
"I thought Carter ... he called me. I couldn't answer the phone, but I
heard
the machine pick up. I thought he called the police when I didn't answer."
"I guess he did call you. But that was after Luka had told us about you.
You
know, you can't see Luka right now, but you can see Carter. He's been
pretty
worried about you too, and I think he'd like to see you. We told him he
could
come in once we'd finished your exam."
Abby shut her eyes and shook her head quickly. "No. I don't want to see
him.
Not right now."
"Ok. That's fine." Susan was surprised, but kept her voice calm.
Haleh said, "They're ready for her up in radiology."
"Abby, I'll have Haleh take you up to radiology. While you're there, I'll
call
up to the OR and see if they know when Luka will be out of surgery. Once
he is,
you should be able to look in on him for a minute."
"Thanks."
Susan and Haleh together helped Abby into a wheelchair, and Haleh took her
upstairs. And Susan leaned against the wall again and took a deep breath.
After
a minute she headed for the lounge to get herself a cup of coffee. She
desperately needed a cup of coffee.
Carter was there drinking his own cup. He jumped to his feet as she came
in.
"How's Abby?" he asked anxiously.
"She's going to be fine. Looks like it's just cuts and bruises mostly. She
may
have a slight concussion and a broken wrist. I just sent her up to CT."
"Was she ... raped?" It was clearly a struggle to get the word out.
"Yeah." Susan poured the coffee.
"Can I see her? You said I could see her as soon as ..."
"She doesn't want to see you. I offered, and she said no."
"She didn't want to see me?" Carter looked stunned. "Why?"
"I didn't ask, and it's none of my business. She doesn't want to see you
right
now, and that's all that matters."
"She shouldn't have to deal with this alone."
"She's pretty upset. I think she just needs a little time."
"She's upset? You think I'm not upset too? How do you think I feel ...."
Something inside Susan snapped. "*I* think you need to grow up a little,
Carter. I think you need to remember that Abby was the one who was raped
here,
and her needs are a little more im****tant right now than your feelings."
Susan cut herself off abruptly and took a deep breath, registering the
hurt
look on Carter's face. "Oh God ... I'm sorry, Carter. I didn't mean that."
Carter just looked down at his hands, didn't say anything. "Really, I
didn't.
This has just been a horrible evening ... for everyone. We're all worried
about
Luka, and upset about Abby. But Abby is the one who's just been through
hell."
"So I'd think she'd want me there ... to help her deal with it."
"Different women deal with this sort of thing differently. Some are going
to
want sup****t right away from people who care about them. Other women need
time
to ... process the experience on their own first. I'm sure it's nothing
personal, Carter. She just needs some time. Maybe in the morning, or in a
couple of days, she'll be ready to talk to you about it, let you comfort
her.
But right now, she said no. She's my patient, and I'm going to respect
that."
"Will you be admitting her?"
"Probably. It will depend on what the CT shows. We'll keep her overnight
anyway." Susan finished her coffee. "Now, I need to call up to the OR. I
promised Abby I'd let her know how Luka's doing."
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