Ok. So I'm feeling a little testy today. (Migraines will do that.) If
there is
anyone who can ONLY read this fic here, and wants to keep reading, I'll
keep
reposting the chapters. Otherwise, for those who are enjoying it (despite
the
defeaning silences that accompany each chapter), you can find it
(currently
written up through chapter 32 ... with luck it'll be done before the end
of the
year -- 3-4 chapters to go, I think), here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1964880/1/
Anyway, here's 19. Let me know if you want me to keep reposting here.
Naomi
TITLE: Circles (19)
AUTHOR: Naomi Pardue
GENRE: LKo/AL
RATING: PG-13
TIMELINE: Late S9
DISCLAIMERS: I own the words. They own everything else.
Abby tapped on the closed bedroom door.
"Yeah. Come in." She opened the door. Luka was still in bed.
"You getting up? It's almost 10."
"Yeah, I'm moving." He sat up in bed. He looked, Abby thought, very tired.
She
couldn't help worrying about him. Luka usually rebounded quickly from
illness.
She'd seen him come to work sick, hurt, hungover, more times than she
could
count. But he seemed to be having a hard time coming back from this one.
He was
still too pale, too worn-out looking, he moved too slowly. If anything he
seemed worse now than when she'd brought him home 5 days earlier. As far
as she
could tell, he was sleeping ok now, but it didn't seem to be doing him
much
good.
"I can bring you breakfast in bed," she said, sounding more cheerful than
she
felt.
"That won't be necessary," Luka assured her with a tired smile. He swung
his
legs around the edge of the bed and stood up -- then sat down again
quickly,
closing his eyes.
"Whoa!" Abby was at his side. "You ok?"
"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." Abby frowned, and the worry on her face
must
have been obvious, because Luka shook his head and said, a little
irritably,
"I'm really ok. I just stood up too fast." He stood up again, a little
more
slowly this time. "See. Everything's fine."
"Ok. I'll get breakfast going. Yell if you need anything."
Abby left Luka to dress by himself and returned to the kitchen. She'd have
to
do some shopping soon, she thought. Breakfast options were getting pretty
low.
She started the coffee, put the last two slices of raisin bread in the
toaster
and located a carton of yogurt that wasn't yet expired behind a bowl of
leftover spaghetti in the fridge. Luka wasn't usually a big breakfast
eater,
she knew, but he needed to eat well if he was going to get his strength
back.
She was just buttering the toast when Luka came out of the bedroom,
dressed,
but still looking rather pale and tired, and moving slowly. He poured
himself a
cup of coffee and sat down and took a sip.
"From now on, I make the coffee," he said.
"And what's wrong with the coffee?"
"Not a thing. If you like drinking dishwater."
"Beats the paintstripper you make." They smiled at each other.
"Maybe we'll have to each make our own coffee ..."
The conversation was interrupted by the musical tones of Abby's cell
phone. She
took it from her pocket and looked at it, then put it back without a word.
She
wasn't smiling anymore.
"Not going to answer it?"
"Obviously not."
"Carter again."
"Obviously.. That makes three calls." Abby sighed and shook her head.
"You can't go on ignoring him forever, Abby."
"Three days isn't forever. I have nothing to say to him right now."
"Well ... maybe you need to tell him that."
Abby just shook her head and took a bite of her toast. She didn't want to
deal
with this right now. She didn't want to think about this right now.
"Are you still sure that it's over?" Luka asked.
"I ... I don't know. I think so."
"Have you told him that?"
"No. I told him I needed some time. And I still do."
"So tell him that. It's not fair to keep stringing him along. It's just
going
to get harder the longer you wait. You will be seeing him at work. I think
you
need to get this settled before you go back next week."
"I know." A sigh. "Remind me to never get involved with people from work.
It's
just too complicated when it all falls apart."
"Yeah." Luka suddenly wasn't looking at her.
"We're doing good now," Abby explained quickly. "But those first few weeks
were
pretty awful. Remember?"
"I remember." Luka sipped his coffee. "So, will you talk to him?"
"I will. Just not right now. It isn't the kind of thing you do over the
phone."
"So go talk to him in person."
"I don't like to leave you alone. I'm supposed to be looking after you."
"I'll be fine for a couple of hours," Luka said. "And I think we can both
stand
a break from each other for a little while."
"Getting sick of me already?"
"No, not a bit."
"Ok," Abby finally agreed, reluctantly. "I'll go have a chat with Carter
and
pick up some groceries. The cupboards are getting pretty bare. I'll be
back in
a couple of hours. Call if you need anything, ok?"
"I will. But I'm sure I'll be fine."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I thought you were off this week," said Lydia, spotting Abby as she
walked
through the ambulance bay doors.
"I am. Is Carter around anywhere?" Maybe, Abby thought, he'd be off today.
But,
no such luck.
"He's in exam 2, I think."
Abby poked her head through the door. "Carter?"
A startled look. A cautious smile. "Hey, Abby."
"When you have a minute, can we talk?"
"Sure. Just give me about ten minutes to finish up a couple of patients."
"That's fine. I'll meet you over at Doc Magoo's?" Abby felt uneasy about
being
here. She still hadn't told anyone but Susan that she was staying at
Luka's. It
wasn't anyone's business, but she knew that if anyone found out they'd
just
draw the wrong conclusions, or ask awkward questions. She'd just as soon
avoid
those questions.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Abby picked at her sandwich. She wasn't really hungry, having just had
breakfast, but she'd ordered something to occupy her hands. Carter was
taking
way more than ten minutes. She knew he had a good reason -- she'd heard
sirens.
He was probably occupied with a trauma or some other emergency. But the
long
wait was just making it harder. She wasn't even sure yet what she was
going to
say to him, though she'd thought about it all the way here on the el. She
hoped
that the right words would just come when she needed them.
After all the waiting, Abby didn't even hear Carter come in. His voice
startled
her.
"Sorry I'm late, Abby," he said, sliding into the booth across from her.
"An MI
came in just as I was about to leave."
"It's ok. I figured it was something like that."
"You're looking good," Carter said. A lie was not a good way to start the
conversation.
Abby took a deep breath. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I've been ignoring your
calls. I just wasn't sure what to say to you."
"You're taking some time off work to get yourself together again?"
"Yeah." If he could lie, so could she. "I just needed a little more time."
"It's a good idea. You went through something horrible. You're not going
to
recover over night."
"Carter," Abby interrupted firmly. "I don't want to talk about that right
now.
I came here because we need to talk about us." Abby trailed off. That was
what
they needed to talk about, but she still wasn't sure what to say. The
words
weren't coming.
She was going to tell him that it was over. That is wasn't his fault and
it had
nothing to do with what had happened to her. That they had grown apart and
there was no sense in wasting both their time with a relationship that
wasn't
going anywhere. That she didn't really blame him for anything, but that it
was
better to end it now, while they could still be friends, than to wait
until
they ended up hating each other.
But now, sitting across the table from him, the words wouldn't come. He
looked
so hopeful. And the relationship wasn't really all that bad, was it? It
wasn't
fireworks and roses, but they got along ok. And it wasn't as if she had
anyone
else waiting for her. She wasn't angry with him anymore ... it really
hadn't
been his fault. Maybe if they both tried a little harder, they could make
it
work.
"Carter," Abby began again, "look ... I know I was pretty hard on you. It
wasn't your fault. It's just been rough for me, you know ...." She was
rescued
by the ringing of her phone. She took it out and checked the display. It
was
Luka. "Excuse me a second." Abby stood up and walked quickly away from the
table before answering. She still wasn't ready to explain this to Carter.
"Luka, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm just ... how much longer will you be?" His voice sounded a
little
odd, but Abby couldn't put her finger on what was wrong.
"I'm not sure. Maybe another hour."
A hesitation. "I think you need to come home."
Abby felt her stomach turn over. Luka sounded calm enough but that
'something'
in his voice was still there. A little breathless. Fear? Pain? It was hard
to
tell.
"What's wrong?" she asked again, her grip tightening on the phone.
"I don't know. I don't think it's anything ... I just don't feel well."
"Ok. I'll be right there. If things get worse, you call an ambulance, you
hear
me?"
"Yeah."
Abby hung up the phone and returned to the table. Carter looked at her
expectantly.
"I have to go. We'll talk about this more later, I promise." She took out
her
wallet. "Can you pay the waitress for me?"
"Sure. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I'll explain another time. I just have to go."
Carter waved away the money she held out to him. "I'll cover this. You go
do
whatever you need to do."
"Thanks."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Abby reached the platform just as the train was pulling away. She paced
restlessly as she waited for the next one. Maybe she should call a cab
instead.
But no, that wouldn't get her home any faster. By the time it got here and
then
made its way through city traffic ....
Maybe she should call Luka back, double check that he was still ok. No, he
was
fine, she told herself firmly. The man was a doctor, after all. He'd know
if
something was seriously wrong. And he'd been fine when she'd left. Maybe
he was
running a bit of a fever, or was feeling lightheaded again. He was
probably
resting now. She wouldn't bother him, make him get up by calling him
again.
He'd only scold her for worrying too much. He never liked her to worry too
much.
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