Title: The Best Laid Plans, Chapter 14
Author: Cathy Roberts
Pairing: JC/DM
Rating: NC-17
Date: April 23, 2005
Archive: Please ask first
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No
infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for
the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your
own pleasure. Thanks to everyone at the Mature ER FanFiction Critique
Corner for their comments and suggestions.
Summary: Dave Malucci meets John Carter in college, and nothing will
ever be the same. Be warned that this story contains scenes of sexual
assault, kinky sex and bad language in places.
*******************************************************
There's a saying that you don't know what you've got until it's gone,
and it was a saying that Dave never really gave much thought to until he
found himself missing the feeling of having Carter next to him in bed
every night. Dave realized that a cynical person would try to claim
that he was missing the sex, but there hadn't been any thing sexual
going on between them. Well, not much of anything sexual, anyway. Dave
wasn't really sure if he wanted to count getting blowjobs and hand jobs
from Carter as them having a sexual relationship, especially since
Carter wouldn't let Dave reciprocate. At first, Dave had argued with
Carter over that, but Carter's stubborn insistence and magical mouth
would end up wearing down Dave's resistance. Of course, he knew why
Carter wouldn't let him do anything - he was still self-conscious about
that damn ostomy and the bag. Dave could shower with Carter, but
touching him anywhere below the waistline was a no-go, and Dave had no
choice but to honor that prohibition.
It wasn't an easy thing to honor though. Or rather, it hadn't been an
easy thing to honor. The ostomy was now a thing of the past. Carter
had gone back to the hospital to get it reversed and was now home again
after a long week's stay. At least it had felt like a long stay to
Dave, who had grown quite used to having Carter's body snuggled against
his own every night. Dave also suspected that it had been a long week
for Carter, too, judging by the pissy mood the guy had been in during
Dave's visits. Again, Dave couldn't really blame Carter too much for
feeling that way - he'd been making good progress with his PT and the
reversal surgery did set Carter back a bit. He'd hoped to be on
crutches by now, but was still stuck with the walker, and the doctors
had been quite emphatic that Carter shouldn't even attempt using
crutches until his sutures were out, and they went on to urge that
Carter not try the crutches until a few more weeks had gone by. Dave
knew that there'd a be a struggle about the crutches, which was why he'd
already taken the step of hiding them in the back of the hall closet.
Sometimes, Carter's stubbornness was a good thing, Dave thought, like
when he insisted on making Dave come. But at other times...
Dave shook his head slightly, even though there was a slight smile on
his face. Carter stirred a bit and Dave wrapped his arms a bit tighter
around Carter's body, holding him closer. It felt a bit decadent to be
napping in the middle of the afternoon, and Dave was enjoying every
moment of it. He'd brought Carter home just an hour ago, and promptly
put him to bed. Dave had intended to putter around the apartment for a
bit, but when he'd heard Carter crying out in his sleep, all thoughts of
housework went out of the window. Carter needed him. And Dave was able
to be there for Carter, unlike the whole past week when Carter was once
more trapped in a hospital room. Dave had looked in Carter's eyes
during the past week and knew that the nightmares had come back, and
he'd felt helpless over the fact that he couldn't do anything to keep
those nightmares at bay.
The helpless feeling was now gone, although Dave did feel a bit badly
that Carter had started to have a bad dream so soon after coming home.
He thought about going to DeRaad or someone else in Psych and asking if
there was anything special he should be doing for Carter. It wasn't the
first time that Dave had thought about doing something like that, and he
suspected that it wouldn't be the last time. But, as with the other
times he'd thought about it, Dave still encountered the main obstacle to
him asking, and that was him revealing to co-workers that he and Carter
were together. While it was true that quite a few people knew that Dave
was staying at Carter's place, none of them knew that the two of them
were sharing a bed. Dave didn't think he'd be able to explain away how
Carter's nightmares could be quieted by him holding Carter just a bit
closer as they slept - not when he was supposed to be sleeping on the
couch every night. Dave didn't know how Carter felt about it, but he
personally wasn't interested in outing himself. Not yet, anyway.
Dave placed a light kiss on the back of Carter's neck and closed his
eyes, then softly cursed as he heard the sound of the doorbell. Didn't
people realize that Carter had just got home and didn't need any
visitors? Well, he'd just ignore it, Dave decided. And then the
doorbell sounded again. With mutters that cursed the parentage of the
person at the door, Dave got out of bed and headed from the bedroom,
closing the door softly before proceeding to the front door. The damn
doorbell rang again before Dave could get there, and that pissed him
off. Didn't they realize that they might be disturbing Carter's rest?
He yanked the door open, angry at the rude insistence of the bell ringer.
And then Dave stood there speechless as he found himself face to face
with Carter's parents. No, he'd never met them, but he'd seen them in
photographs in the apartment, so he recognized them. Carter's mother
looked like - well, like some bitch made out of ice. Carter's father
looked exasperated. Both were well-dressed, and both looked
well-rested, facts which made Dave wonder just when they got into town.
He knew from Carter that they'd been in Tokyo, and if they'd just
gotten off of the plane, then they would be looking a little tired and
rumpled. Anger surged through Dave's body as he looked at the couple.
Carter had been stabbed and nearly killed and they hadn't come home, and
now they show up on the day that Carter was home from his second
surgery, looking for all the world as if this were a normal social call.
Fuckers.
Carter's father cleared his throat. "We're looking for John Carter.
This IS his apartment, isn't it?"
Dave nodded, but he didn't step aside to let either one of them in. "It
is, but he can't come to the door right now. He just got home from the
hospital and is taking a nap. I can let him know that you came by."
Even as he said it, Dave knew that he wouldn't follow through on that.
Not that he wouldn't tell Carter, but that he wouldn't turn Carter's
folks away. The guy had been practically pining for them for weeks, so
there was no way that Dave would be the one making them leave. But Hell
if he was going to make this easy on them, either.
"We're John's parents," the woman said, looking at Dave with something
between disdain and suspicion. "And you are?"
"I'm Dave Malucci. I've been staying here with John to help out since
he still can't walk very well," Dave answered. He then stepped to one
side. "Come on in, but try to be quiet. He didn't get a lot of rest in
the hospital and he really needs the sleep."
The couple walked past him and as Dave closed the door he found himself
wondering if he should go in and wake Carter. A part of him knew that
Carter would want to see his parents, but another part of him wanted
Carter to rest.
"I'd offer you something to drink, but I don't have any coffee made.
We've got juice and water, though, if you'd like any." Dave headed over
to the easy chair; ready to sit down if they declined his offer.
"No thank you," Carter's father answered. "We had something at the
hotel before we came over." He sat down on the sofa with his wife, both
of them now looking uncomfortable. "John was in the hospital again? He
didn't mention anything about that during our phone calls."
Dave knew that Carter's parents called him. He'd even been there for
some of those calls. But he didn't know that Carter hadn't been keeping
his parents updated on his condition, and that knowledge made him wonder
just how much to reveal. He finally decided that the basic facts would
be good enough. "He went back in to have the colostomy reversed," Dave
said. "We just got home about an hour ago."
"I guess he didn't want us to worry about minor surgery, Jack," Carter's
mother said.
As the Mr. Carter nodded, Dave sat down. "It wasn't minor surgery, Mrs.
Carter. John was in the hospital for a week, recovering from the
procedure. Of course, I don't know how you view things. For you, major
abdominal surgery might be a minor nuisance." Oh, Dave knew that he was
being rude to Carter's mother, but right then, he didn't give a fuck.
He was still pissed off with Carter's parents over the fact that they
hadn't rushed back to Chicago when Carter was stabbed, and their current
attitudes weren't making things better.
"Yes, well..." Mrs. Carter said, but her eyes drifted toward the closed
bedroom door. "I'll just take a quick peek at him." She quickly got to
her feet and headed for the bedroom before Dave could think up a reason
to stop her.
"Eleanor's a bit anxious to see John," Mr. Carter said. "If you don't
mind, I'd like to join her, and then we can be out of your way."
Dave got to his feet as Mr. Carter stood. "Of course," he replied, not
trusting himself to say anything more in the fear that he'd tell them
just where they could put their parental concern. He watched in silence
as Carter's parents disappeared into the bedroom and found himself
wondering if they were going to look at Carter and then slink back to
Tokyo, never giving Carter a chance to visit with them.
John could hear the soft whispers near his bed and the sound confused
him, for he was pretty sure that Dave had brought him home. If so, then
why were there nurses or visitors in his room, trying so hard to be
quiet? Finding himself faced with the choice of continuing along the
road of sleep or forcing himself to awaken to see what was going on,
John felt drained. There were far too many choices that he had to make
every day, he thought - should he be cheerful or sullen, should he admit
to his pain or endure it silently, should he live or die...
Not wanting to think about choices, especially that last one, John
forced himself toward wakefulness, and as he became more aware of his
surroundings, he realized that he was in his own bed, in his own place.
And that the voices he was hearing were those of his parents. His
parents? John opened his eyes and found himself looking up at them.
They both looked worried and then that worry was replaced by
contriteness as they noticed that John was looking at them. His mother
smiled and then sat down on the edge of the mattress, moving carefully
as she reached out to smooth his hair back from his forehead.
"We didn't mean to wake up," she said, an ever-sad smile on her face and
reflected in her eyes.
"That's okay," John said as he started to sit up. "I thought you two
were in Tokyo."
"We closed the deal and headed straight here," John's father replied as
he moved closer to the bed. "Your friend Dave told us that you went
back into the hospital for more surgery. You never mentioned on the
phone that you were going back into the hospital."
"Now, Jack, that's not important," John's mother said, gently chiding
her husband. "What's important is that the surgery is over and John's
okay." She looked back at John. "You ARE okay, aren't you?"
John wanted to throw his arms around his mother's neck and cry, telling
her and his father all the many ways that he wasn't okay, but he didn't.
Instead he just smiled and nodded. "I'm doing fine. I was able to do
some PT while in the hospital, so I didn't fall too far behind with that."
John's father chuckled. "Johnny, you keep forgetting that we don't know
all of that 'doctor slang'. What's PT?"
"Physical therapy," John replied, even though he wanted to argue with
his father that the term he had used was hardly 'slang'. But, John knew
that in the eyes of his family, medicine was nothing more than a fancy
of his, and one that they all hoped would pass. Why couldn't they be
like normal parents, John thought, and brag about their son the doctor?
Why did they and his Carter grandparents make it seem as if being a
doctor, especially a trauma physician, was beneath them all?
His father nodded. "Well, that's good to hear," he said, and he smiled
at John, but for John it seemed a bit forced. If it wasn't for the fact
that these were his parents, John would have sworn that his father was
feeling awkward, and unsure of what to say.
Just don't let him start in about the hospital, John thought. His Gamma
had already brought up the idea of him not going back to County, citing
his injuries as a good reason to look elsewhere for employment. And,
not too unexpectedly, the family business had been mentioned. Not
permanently, Gamma had said, but for a short time while he recuperated
and figured out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Again,
another shining example of his family not listening to him, John thought.
"Yes," his mother agreed, and for a moment John thought he had spoken
out-loud and she was agreeing with him, but then he realized that she
was referring to his physical therapy. "You'll be back to your old self
in no time," she continued.
"I hope so," John replied, and then he found himself stifling a yawn.
"I'm sorry. My pain medication makes me sleepy."
His mother smiled and leaned over, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"There's no need to apologize, John. We'll be in town for about a week,
so there's plenty of time for the three of us to talk." She looked over
at John's father. "We should let John get back to sleep."
After saying goodbye to his parents, John burrowed back under the
covers. His yawn had probably saved him from the lecture about his job,
but his mother's words had let John know that the lecture was going to
be coming. It was a lecture that John didn't want to hear, but he
couldn't think of any way to get out of sitting through it.
The bedroom door opened and Dave stepped into the room. "I'm sorry that
they woke you up," he said as he crawled back into the bed and carefully
positioned his body next to John's. "I was a bit surprised to see them."
"Me, too," John admitted as he snuggled closer to Dave's body. If only
Dave could be there when his parents wanted to talk him out of being a
doctor...Dave wouldn't let them say anything spiteful; Dave wouldn't let
them hurt him. "They're staying for a week, or so they said."
"That's good," Dave said, although John didn't think that Dave sounded
too pleased over that. "You all should have plenty of time to visit."
"They didn't come for a visit. They came to talk "sense" into me, you
can count on that. They all want me to give up medicine and get into a
"real" job. To be specific, they want me in the family business."
"Well, they just need to realize that you're one Hell of a doctor, and
you'd be doing your patients a big disservice if you gave up practicing
medicine just to be a desk jockey," Dave's arms tightened a bit around
John as he spoke, and John felt a bit more comforted by that small action.
"Maybe they'll see that someday. Right now, all they see is that I was
hurt while working at County. Gamma's already been talking about me not
going back. It's tempting, too. But I know that if I don't go
back...back into Curtain 3, then I'll never be able to live with myself."
Dave placed a soft kiss on the top of John's head. "Well, there's no
need to be thinking about all of that right now. You need to first
concentrate on getting better, and then you can work on facing the
demons. You know..." Dave's hand began to caress John's arm, "You know
that talking to someone will help with that. A shrink, I mean. Several
of us from work have been in therapy over the...over what happened. I
think it would help you deal with things if you saw someone, too."
"I'd never be able to talk to DeRaad," John said. He wasn't quite sure
how he felt about the man who was the head of the psychiatric
department, but John was pretty sure that he didn't want to go over his
feelings with the guy. Especially if it turned out that he harbored
some resentment toward him for not showing up when Lucy had first paged
psych. "Things would have been so different if they would have come
down when Lucy called them," John said. "Or even the second time. But
no, they had to wait hours before coming down." John found himself
blinking back tears as memories from that night started to nibble at his
consciousness.
"I know," Dave said, and he seemed to hold John even closer. "I know."
John tried to move even closer to Dave, wanting to get lost in the sound
of Dave's heartbeat and the rise and fall of his body as he breathed.
Dave was alive and real, and Dave kept him safe. Those were the
thoughts that John held onto as he started to fall back asleep. As long
as Dave was with him, John knew he had nothing to fear.
To be continued...
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