by "Sharon too" <requestmyaddyfirst@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Jul 12, 2005 at 09:15 PM
> Title: THE ****FT
I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I have to ask if English is your first
language. You would greatly benefit from having a beta reader work with
you
for editing.
Good start, though. Separate different character's dialogue into their own
paragraphs and clean up the grammar and you'd have a much cleaner look. My
preferance only, but story telling such as this in present tense is
difficult to read. Most people tell stories in the first person in the
past
tense.
-Sharon
