Sorry, the heading on this should be 3, not 4!
npardue@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
> TITLE :Invisible
> AUTHOR: Naomi Pardue
> GENRE: LK/JF
> RATING: PG-13
> TIMELINE: Mid-S11
> DISCLAIMER: They own em, I don't
>
>
>
> Jane opened her eyes and immediately registered that something was
> different. The room was light. It was usually dark when she got up in
> the morning these days. She looked at the clock. 7:10.
> "Damn!" She was late. She had forgotten to set the alarm, and too many
> busy days and too many late nights studying had finally caught up with
> her.
>
> Jumping out of bed, Jane pulled on her clothes, ran a quick brush
> through her hair and, putting on her coat and mittens as she ran, was
> out the door by 7:13 and hurrying down the snowy sidewalk
>
> For the first time since starting her med students rotations last year,
> Jane looked forward to going in to work. She hated being late. She
> didn't want to miss a single minute of her ER rotation and, more
> im****tant, she didn't want to disappoint Dr. Kovac.
>
> Dr. Kovac. Jane smiled to herself. He had made all the difference. She
> could see his smile, feel the touch of his hand against hers as he
> guided her in some new procedure. She could hear his voice, 'That's it
> Jane ... excellent ... " and then the smile again, which she could
> never help but return.
>
> How could her life have changed so much in one short week? A week ago
> she'd been just Invisible Jane. Unnoticed, barely tolerated by
> whichever resident or intern had the bad luck to get stuck with her
> that day.
>
> But suddenly, Dr. Kovac had taken an interest in her. The first day
> she'd thought it was a fluke, just some long overdue good luck. Dr.
> Pratt was busy, he'd told her, she would work with him. But the next
> day it had happened again, and the next.
>
> He was just teaching her, of course. She was a promising medical
> student and he was trying to help. That was all. He'd never been
> anything but professional with her, never asked her about her personal
> life or talked to her about his. But she could dream ... dream big. She
> knew she wasn't imagining it that his smiles were warmer, his eyes
> brighter when he spoke to her than to anyone else. And everyone in the
> ER knew that things were not going well between him and Sam. When they
> worked together on a case the tension in the room was obvious. And then
> he would look at her, and smile, and relax again.
>
> Realization struck her suddenly, dizzying. Of course he was
> professional with her. He was her supervisor. As long as she was on her
> ER rotation he couldn't be anything more to her than a teacher, a
> mentor. The rules on that subject were very clear. But in another two
> weeks her rotation would be finished. She would move onto neurology,
> and Luka would no longer be her supervisor. Then things would change.
> Their relation****p would change. Why hadn't she thought of it before?
> Suddenly Jane was counting the days until the end of her rotation. She
> wantedout of the ER, so she ... and Luka ... would be free to move onto
> something better for both of them. He was much older than her, she knew
> that. But Sam was only a year or two older than she was. And Abby ...
> she'd heard the rumors that they had dated a few years back. Abby was
> only a year older than she was, an intern. Luka liked younger women.
> And he liked her. It was hard to believe, but he obviously liked her.
>
> Jane was snapped from her thoughts by the feel of her foot against a
> slick patch on the curb. She skidded awkwardly and a moment later was
> sprawled on the pavement.
>
> She lay for a moment getting her breath back, then got slow to her
> knees, wincing, and then to her feet. "Fall to outstretched hand..."
> How many of those had she seen on her ER rotation so far? As often as
> not it meant a sprained or broken wrist. But no, her wrists were a bit
> sore, but not sprained and certainly not broken. Her mittens had
> protected her hands from the rough blacktop. But ... damn it ... the
> left knee of her jeans was ripped open. Jane folded the torn flap of
> fabric over and looked at it. She was good with suturing skin, but
> she'd never sewn denim before. She would have to learn. She couldn't go
> to work with torn pants, and she only had one other pair.
>
> Limping slightly, Jane hurried as best she couldthe last 50 yards
> across the ambulance bay and into the warmth of the ER.
>
> The other medical students were already gathered at admit for their
> morning meeting. 7:25. Pulling off her coat and mittens, Jane quickly
> joined them. Dr. Pratt was there, describing some interesting case from
> the night ****ft, and Dr. Kovac was there too.
>
> "You're late, Jane," Dr. Pratt said, and, at the same moment, Dr. Kovac
> said, "We were worried, Jane."
>
> Jane addressed her answer to Luka. "I overslept. I'm sorry, it won't
> happen again."
>
> "It happens," Luka said with a smile. And a glare from Dr. Pratt as he
> continued describing the SSRI overdose and how it was treated. Jane
> tried to listen, it was interesting, but a moment later Luka
> interrupted again. "You're bleeding!"
>
> Jane was startled. "What?"
>
> "Your knees."
>
> She looked down. She hadn't even noticed that she'd skinned both knees,
> her concern had been for her pants. But the fabric was now not only
> torn, but bloodstained, and the stains were spreading. She shook her
> head. "It's nothing. I'm ok. I slipped on some ice."
>
> "Did you hurt yourself?"
>
> "Just skinned my knees. They're fine." Jane couldn't tell him that she
> was more worried about the pants than the knees.
>
> "Well, go get cleaned up, and grab yourself some scrub pants from the
> storage room."
>
> "But the meeting..."
>
> "I'll fill you in later." Another one of his warm smiles, and again,
> Jane found herself smiling back through her pain and worry.
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> The morning flew by, with Dr. Kovac seeing that every new chart and
> ambulance arrival provided Jane with a new diagnosis to observe, a new
> skill to learn, or, at minimum, at old one to practice. Carbon monoxide
> poisoning, kidney stones, fractured ribs and shattered ankles. A baby
> with possible meningitis; Dr.Kovac let her do the LP, she'd done them
> on adults before, but never on a such a tiny patient.
>
> At around 1 the morning flood of patients had slowed to a trickle. "Why
> don't you go grab some lunch, Jane?"
>
> "I'm not really hungry, yet," Jane said.
>
> "It's slow. Haven't you learned yet to take advantage of slow times to
> take care of yourself? I need to catch up on my charting. By the time
> you get back there should be some new patients for you."
>
> "Ok," Jane agreed reluctantly, and headed for the elevators. She would
> spend 15 or 20 minutes walking the halls, sitting in the bathroom,
> riding the elevators. She couldn't tell him that she had no money for
> lunch. With her grocery budget at a tight 10 dollars a week, cafeteria
> meals were out of the question. Her first few weeks on rotations she
> had brought peanut butter and crackers, or an apple for lunch. But
> she'd quickly found that packing a lunch, especially such a scanty one,
> was even more noticeable, and embarrassing, than simply going without.
> Her supervisors rarely noticed that she hadn't taken a lunch break, or,
> if they insisted, she would simply leave the department for a while. It
> wasn't as if anyone ever offered to eat with her.
>
> After 20 minutes, Jane returned to the ER. Her stomach was tight with
> hunger, but she was used to that. She was eager to get back to work,
> eager to spend more time with Luka. She found him in exam 2. He greeted
> her with his usual smile.
>
> "That was fast," he said.
>
> Jane shrugged. "No lines."
>
> "Well, I'm glad you're back. This is Raul Fernandez, 8 years old.
> Exertional dyspnea and swelling in his wrists and ankles. Neither he
> nor his mother speaks much English. Your Spanish is pretty good so why
> don't you finish the HP. I need to check on a few patients. When I come
> back you can give me your *****sment."
>
> "Ok." Jane turned to her patient. "Hola Raul. Me llamo Jane."
>
> Raul gave her a hesitant smile.
>
> "No te estas sintiendo tan bien?" The little boy pouted and shook
> his head."Bueno, voy a tener una mirada en sus munecas y tobillos. Lo
> prometo que no lastimara,"
>
> Raul nodded again and she began to examine him, carefully explaining in
> her 'pretty good' Spanish, what she was doing. But Raul giggled now at
> some of her questions, and Jane knew she was stumbling over some of her
> words ... she suddenly couldn't seem to remember the grammar. Her ears
> buzzed and whistled, making it hard to hear through her stethoscope.
> And what she did hear puzzled her.
>
> About 10 minutes later Dr. Kovac returned. "So, Jane, what do we have
> here?"
>
> "Eight year old boy, arrived with his family from Ecuador in September.
> Five day history of dyspnea and arthralgia. His mother brought him in
> for a sore throat 3 weeks ago, his chart shows that he was prescribed
> amoxicillan for a strep infection. She says he had frequent sore
> throats in Ecuador."
>
> "Good. Physical *****sment?"
>
> "Ummm... low fever, 100.3, satting at 98. Resps ..." She suddenly
> couldn't remember the vitals. She hadn't written them down. Numbly she
> plunged on. "Lungs are clear, I think I heard a regurge murmur ... not
> sure though." Jane trailed off. The whistling in her ears was back.
> Dr.Kovac was asking her something, but she couldn't hear him. "What?"
>
> "Listen to his heart again."
>
> "I ..." How could she tell him that she couldn't hear well enough? That
> there were spots and flashes of light before her eyes? She had to tell
> him something. He was looking at her, talking to her. A moment of pain
> in her sore knees as they buckled, and everything was black.
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