TITLE: Unbearable Brightness (pt.6)
AUTHOR: Naomi Pardue
GENRE: SL
TIMELINE: My own version of S11-12
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMERS: They own it, I don't.
"Dr. Lewis, labs are back on your kid in 2."
"Thanks, Sam." Susan took the page from Sam and glanced at it. "I
don't know why they call it a rapid strep test when it takes 3 hours
to get the results from the lab. If they'd move a little faster,
maybe *we* could move some of these patients out."
Sam shrugged. "It's all part of the same problem, isn't it?
We're swamped, so they're swamped. I think it's a symptom of
'January in Chicago' syndrome."
Susan chuckled and pulled out her prescription pad. "Ok, give them a
scrip for amoxy, the usual aftercare stuff, and get 'em out of
here."
"Will do. Wanna get lunch later?"
"Maybe. Come find me when you're hungry."
Susan headed for admit to pick up another chart. Things were, she
thought, slowly getting back to normal; or maybe just settling into the
new version of 'normal.' It had been three weeks, Sam and Carter were
back from St Barts. The pain of her loss was just as sharp but she was
getting used to it, getting used to functioning in a fog of grief. Her
co-workers no longer treated her like a china doll.
"Dr. Lewis," Frank said. "You have a visitor."
"Who?"
"How the hell should I know? Some lady came in looking for you."
"So ... where is she?" Susan could feel her patience getting short.
"She wasn't a patient, so I told her to wait in chairs; that
you'd be with her when you could find the time."
Susan looked at the overflowing rack and the crowded board ... and
sighed. Hopefully it wouldn't take long, whoever it was.
Out in the waiting room she was scanning the crowd for a familiar face
when suddenly a voice squealed "Susan! Aunt Susan!" And a slender
form threw itself into her arms.
"Suzie!" Stunned, Susan returned her niece's embrace, then
stepped back to look at her. Suzie had grown a lot in the three years
since Susan had last seen her. She was tall for 9 =BD, and slender; long
strawberry blond hair in a single braid down her back. She wore jeans,
ripped out at the knees, a rather faded blue and white striped polo
shirt, and a pink parka. "Suzie," she said again after a minute,
"What are you doing here? You're mom's here too, right?"
"Yeah, she went out to have a cigarette. She's outside where the
ambulances park."
"Wait here one second. Don't move," Susan told her, then hurried
back to admit. "Frank, tell Carter I'm taking a break." A dash to
the lounge for her coat and then she rejoined Suzie in the waiting
room. Suzie slipped a warm hand into hers and Susan smiled at her as
they walked outside together into the ambulance bay.
Chloe had changed too. She was thinner than Susan remembered, and there
were streaks of grey in her hair, and hard lines around her eyes. But
her smile was the same, and her voice as she jumped up from the bench.
"Suze!" And Susan found herself wrapped in a tobacco scented hug.
"Chloe ... what are you doing here? When did you get here? Why
didn't you call?"
"We just got into town last night."
"You should have called me."
"I tried, Suze. But your phone number seems to belong to some lady
who only speaks Chinese ... or Vietnamese ... something like that."
Susan felt a wave of guilt. Not only had she nearly forgotten her
friends during the past year, she'd forgotten her family as well.
She'd never let Chloe know that she had moved in with Luka; that her
old phone number was no longer good.
Chloe was still talking. "I tried to call Henry to get your phone
number, but he wasn't home. So I figured I'd just come to the
hospital. If you weren't here, I knew someone would know where to
find you."
"But *what* are you doing here? You're still living in Albany,
aren't you?"
"Yeah... or I was until last week. We're just passing through town;
I thought I'd stop and say hi."
"Passing through? Where are you going?"
"Rugby, North Dakota."
"Where the hell is Rugby, North Dakota?"
Chloe gestured vaguely westward. "Somewhere that-a-way, I guess. I
have directions in the car."
"Ok ... *why* Rugby, North Dakota?"
"A job, what else? It's a really great job. Ricky's cousin..."
"Who's Ricky?" Susan's head was spinning.
"A guy I've been seeing ... his cousin owns a motel out there. They
needed a manager ... I needed a job. It doesn't pay much, but
there's a little apartment behind the office where we can live."
"But ... North Dakota?" Susan said slowly. "Can't you find
another job in Albany? Or you could find one here."
"I couldn't find anything that paid enough to live on, Suze. I'm
so glad this came up; it's perfect. A job and a place to live, all
rolled into one."
Susan put the pieces together. "You got evicted."
"Uh huh; I lost my job in October. But I needed a change anyway.
What's that stupid saying about God closing one door and opening
another? I think this will be better ... especially for ..." She
jerked her head towards Suzie, who was standing there half-listening,
hands in her pockets. "Small town, you know?"
"Mom doesn't like my friends," Suzie said matter-of-factly.
"She thinks they're a bad influence."
Susan glanced at her watch, and remembered the crowded rack. "It
sounds great, Chloe. Look ... I have to get back to work. Maybe we can
all have dinner tonight. Where are you staying?"
"Days Inn down in Hammond." Then a nervous smile. "Actually ... I
was thinking ... hoping ... that you'd watch Suzie for a couple of
hours. I need to run downtown and get a copy of her birth certificate.
Our copy disappeared three or four moves ago."
"I'm really busy, Chloe. You saw how crowded it was. Can't Suzie
go with you?"
"Please, Aunt Susan," Suzie begged. "I haven't seen you in so
long."
"How long will you be?" Susan asked.
"Two hours ... two and a half max."
"Ok," Susan relented. "Suzie and I will get lunch. You come find
us the second you get back. We'll work out something for dinner
tonight."
"Thanks Suze! You're the greatest."
Susan watched Chloe head down the street towards a small banger of a
car, the back-seat loaded with boxes and luggage. "God ... what is
that? A Chevette?"
"Yeah." Suzie giggled. "Mom bought it from Ricky. She said it
cost less than a bus ticket. There's a big hole in the floor."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A dash inside for her wallet and to tell Frank she was taking a lunch
break; and ten minutes later she and Suzie were seated in Ike's.
waiting for the waitress to bring them hamburgers and fries.
"So ... North Dakota. That'll be a big change. Are you excited?"
"It's gonna be *awful*, Aunt Susan. It's like ... the end of the
Earth."
"Not quite." Susan laughed. "I'm sure you're going to love
it; lot's of fresh air, you'll learn to cross-country ski ... and
you know that they say that small-town people are really friendly.
You'll make new friends in no time."
"I guess..." Suzie sighed. "It's just that we're always
moving. I mean... I went to kindergarten in Phoenix, and first grade in
New Jersey. Since then ... since Mom left Joe ... I've lived in 3
different cities and 5 different apartments and gone to 4 different
schools. I was finally making some really good friends in Albany, and
now we're moving again. It's not fair."
"Suzie, your mom does what she has to to take care of you. It's
hard for her too, I'm sure. But it sounds like Rugby will be great.
You'll make more good friends there."
"I'll bet it's a one-room school house, like "Little House on the
Prairie." I'll bet the kids talk about cows and chickens all day."
"Give it a chance," Susan said firmly. "Are you doing well in
school?"
Suzie shrugged. "I guess. A lot of it's pretty dumb ... but I have
lots of friends ... or at least I did until last week."
"Do you see much of Joe?"
"Not anymore. I don't think Mom ever told him when we moved last
time. I guess he doesn't know where we are."
"And who's Ricky?"
"Mom's boyfriend. One of 'em anyway."
"And there really is a job for Mom in North Dakota?"
"I guess so." Suzie cocked her head thoughtfully. "Do you have a
boyfriend?"
"Not at the moment, no."
A disappointed sigh. "I don't get it, Aunt Susan. You're so
pretty and so smart. Mom always has lots of boyfriends and she ..."
"Is pretty and smart too," Susan interrupted firmly.
"I guess," Suzie agreed dubiously. "But you practically never
have a boyfriend." She lowered her voice and leaned towards Susan,
confidentially. "You're not gay, are you?"
Susan had to laugh. "No, Suzie. I'm not gay. I did have a
boyfriend. I just don't have one right now."
"Did he dump you, or did you dump him?"
"Neither one. He died."
"Really?"
"Really."
Suzie's eyes widened. "Oh, Aunt Susan ... that's so *sad!* Are
you lonely?"
Suzie's spontaneous rush of sympathy made Susan smile a little. So
much more sincere, more heartfelt, than all the hugs and 'I'm
sorry's' from her friends and co-workers. But she just nodded.
"Yeah, I am lonely. And I'm sad about it. But I'm very happy to
see you and your mom. I've missed you."
"You haven't called us in so long. Mom said you were probably just
real busy, but I thought maybe you'd forgotten us."
Susan sighed, and lied ... just a little. "I have been busy, Suzie.
Time just got away from me. But I would never forget you, you know
that."
"I know ..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Susan looked at her watch as the waitress cleared away the plates.
Damn, she'd been at lunch way too long. Well, with any luck, Chloe
would be waiting for them in the lobby.
"Suzie, I need to get back to work now."
"Is Mom back?"
"I don't know. If she's not, we have a family room where you can
watch a DVD while you wait for her."
In the waiting room, Susan again scanned the crowd. No Chloe. With
Suzie trailing behind her, she headed to the desk. "Frank, is my
sister back yet?"
"Who?"
"The woman who was looking for me earlier. Is she here?"
"How should I know," Frank grumbled.
"Ok, when she gets back, have her wait in chairs again, and come find
me right away."
"Fine. Whatever. Like I don't have anything better to do with my
time!"
As Susan guided her niece towards the family room Suzie said, "I
don't think I like him very much."
"He's nicer than he pretends to be," Susan said. "Really."
She pushed open the door to the family room. It was empty. "Ok, what
movie do you want to watch? We have "Mulan", we have "Ice Age" ..."
"Those are ... like ... baby movies," Suzie complained.
"They're kid movies. And you're a kid."
"I thought you said this was a room for families. Not everyone in a
family is a kid. Where the the movies for the moms and dads?"
"Good point," Susan agreed cheerfully. " But I guess the moms and
dads just have to watch the movies that the kids like. Anyway, you pick
whatever you want to watch. I'll bring Mom to you as soon as she gets
here."
"I'll see you again tonight, won't I?"
"Absolutely. I told you that the three of us would have dinner, and I
meant it. And I'll come visit you in North Dakota this summer."
Susan hurried from the room and back to the desk. She grabbed a few
charts and plunged back into the chaotic ER. Her long lunch break had
not been a good idea. Rushing from patient to patient time flew by.
When she next looked at the clock, she realized with shock that it had
been over 2 hours since she and Suzie had gotten back - nearly four
hours since Chloe had left.
"Frank, is my sister not back yet?"
"I told you I'd get you, didn't I? If she's here, I haven't
seen her."
Susan peered through the glass into the waiting room, no sign of Chloe.
Back to the family room, she looked through the narrow glass window in
the door. The tv screen was blue, the movie over. Suzie was curled up
on the sofa, asleep.
Back to the desk. "Frank, do we have a Gary/Hammond area phone
book?"
"Nope. Who do you want to call? Your sister lives in Gary? Boy ... no
wonder you never talk about her!"
"No! Never mind..." Susan said slowly. *Come on, Susan ... don't
let your imagination run away with you. Traffic's bad downtown ...
lines can be hellishly long in the record's office. It hasn't been
so long .Everything's fine.*
"Ok, just be sure to find me when she shows." Susan took another
chart and returned to work.
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