OH. MY. GOD.
It's not really possible to brace oneself for the cru****ng
disappointment that each episode of "E.R." heaps upon us, is it? Having
seen the promo, we all knew we were in for a non-event, but the sheer
magnitude of the emptiness of the episode simply leaves me at a loss for
words. What the hell was that mess?
- The camel was just plain stupid. No, wait, not just plain stupid:
stupid supreme with extra cheese and guacamole.
- Stupider was the fact that the camel "story arc" SPANNED THE BLIPVERT.
- Nobody needs to see Dubenko's underpants. Funny factor = 0.0. Ick
factor = 12.7.
- Morris BREAKS FRANK'S HAND TO WIN A BET and NOBODY CALLS THE COPS AND
HAS HIM HAULED AWAY? W. H. A. T??!??!??!?
- Preacher Gal is so uninteresting that I can't even blame Uncle Jesse
for preparing to hook up with Sam. Oh, I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't
indulge in such wild speculation, I was probably just imagining the
subtle "let's get it on sweet cheeks" doe-eyes on both their parts. If
the TEERPTB know anything, it's "subtle".
- Who here DIDN'T think Preacher Gal's discussion with Sam at the
beginning was gong to end in steamy Preacher-On-Nurse action? Five'll
get you ten that's what they're setting up, mark my words. NOTE:
Breaking my hand to win that bet shall void said bet.
- What was with the seance BS? That was just sad. Not to mention
utterly ridiculous since everybody working the ****ft was in that damn
room. And then one shot of that wasn't enough, we get to have TWO.
"Dip your hands in this sterile water for some reason... well, it's
sterile until Uncle Jesse puts his mitts in it, but still." Pfhht.
- On the subject of Sam: DAMN GIRL! This was hands down "Hottest Ever"
Sam. I think it was that uniform. So I give the episode that. And
only that.
- So... was the dude really drunk? Did he live? That smelled for all
the world like E.R. Plot Device #5: "Dude appears to be a drunk driver -
Angry citizen(s) beat on Dude - Turns out Dude is not drunk but has a
rare disease/had a stroke while driving - Dude lives and/or dies from
beating - E.R. denizens all learn a little something about life and/or
death and/or love."
- So... did the girl he hit live? Die? Eva****ate?
- Where the hell was the obligatory Christmas song? Throw us a fricken
bone here!
- And of course I won't even mention that, by my tally, there were
nowhere near the advertised 300 patients we were promised. I'm going to
stop counting E.R. patients and start counting E.R lies. I know they
far exceed 300.
--
DTH
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