"Dropping The Helicopter" <dgajdgsj@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:Cl_hj.416615$kj1.406167@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Ok, welp, after a one-episode Abb-sence (I'm awesome), Abby is out of
> rehab and back in black! An uncharacteristically almost-watchable
episode
> methoughts. So without further ado, here are Dropping T. Helicopter's
> Olde Tyme Episode Bullet Points(tm):
>
> - So, from the opening scenes, it appears that Abbs is indeed out of
rehab
> and on basically the same sort of probation at Cook County General that
> Carter was on when he was doing goofballs or whatever it was. I suspect
> they simply dusted off the old script and reused it.
>
> Except, before she returns to work, she's going to *really* go to
Croatia
> this time for "a few weeks" to be with Luka and Joe. Wow, either
funerals
> in Croatia are the most elaborate burial rituals since Cheops was
bandaged
> up, or actors desperately clawing their way off a sinking ****p really
> cause wild contortions in the writing of an episodic television program.
> Whatever the case, she's around for the rest of this episode through the
> novel writer's device of "we're short staffed and we've got multiple
> casualties coming in" (I hope they patented that one, because I'm
betting
> that every other medical show ends up trying to steal it!), and keeps
the
> place from completely falling apart.
>
> - Morris pukes for some reason. He's sick for the entire episode, at
> various times having an IV going, at others receiving an injection of
some
> sort of anti-emetic in his buttock from Serial Killer Guy II - Electric
> Boogaloo. Yes, for reasons known to nobody but TEERPTB, we actually get
> to see Morris' butt crack. No, we do not find out which buttock he
> receives the injection in.
>
> - Neela's alarm clock wakes her up and causes her to immediately have to
> pee. Her cousin is in the shower and won't open the bathroom door, so
> Neela just barges in, pees, and wipes, in what has to be the least
> necessary scene in the history of all visual arts. It seriously should
> win some sort of Oscar for Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of
> Needless Ickiness.
>
> Anyway, Neela's been talking to her cousin (Jaspreet?) in the shower the
> whole time she's been urinating and she hasn't been answering. That's
> because she wasn't in the shower - she comes in through the bathroom
door.
> Neela then complains about the water bill and goes to shut the shower
off,
> and finds Harold in the shower! I don't think any of us saw that one
> coming! Yes, Neela looks at his *****. Twice. No, I did not make any
of
> the above up.
>
> The entire atrocity is almost certainly the lowest point in "E.R."
> history.
Good Lord! What is it about rest/bathroom scenes on shows and in movies?
It's disgusting. I'm glad I missed this eppy--at least this part of it
anyway. Sheesh!
>
> [CUE BLIPVERT]
>
> - Two young kids come in from the multiple casualties thing, which turns
> out to be an apartment fire. The girl is ok, the boy less so. Abby
ends
> up diagnosing the girl with some made-up-sounding extremely rare genetic
> vision problem. This results in the girl singing a song while the
> ophthalmologist ophthalmologizes her eyes. The same song is reprised in
> the Obligatory Song At The End Of The Episode(tm).
>
> The boy is the subject of yet another never-before-seen dramatic device.
> His blood pressure (or something) is getting dangerously high (or low),
> and Freaky-Surgery-Guy-Who-Isn't-Dubenko wants to cut open his liver.
> However, Abby and Pratt suspect it may in fact not be his liver, but a
> broken pelvis causing the problem. If Not-Dubenko is right, he has to
cut
> open the liver immediately or the boy dies. If Abby and Pratt are
> correct, simply putting what appeared to be a weight on his pelvis will
> relieve the blockage and restore the boy's blood pressure to normal,
> without the extreme risk involved in liver-cutting.
>
> Abby/Pratt (Prabby?) ultimately win the conflict and try the pelvis
weight
> idea - and it works! The boy's blood pressure (or whatever it was)
> returns to normal and he is saved, with a fully intact liver to boot!
>
> I literally sat staring at the screen with my jaw completely slack,
drool
> running down onto my ****rt, for a full five minutes after witnessing
that
> theatrical masterpiece. Never having seen anything remotely like it
> before, my mind was simply spinning trying to take it all in. Even as I
> write this, I am still awestruck by the brilliance that this program
> delivers into our homes each week. Bravo, "E.R.", bravo.
>
> - A fireman was also brought in from the fire. He served solely to set
up
> a scene where a half-dozen firemen come in through the main doors in
slow
> motion while New Gay Desk Clerk Guy drools over them. Scouts' honor -
> they used *slow motion*. Upon reflection, I am utterly gobsmacked that
> they didn't play "You ***y Thing" by Hot Chocolate over that scene.
>
> - An old lady dies in what appeared to be a desperate attempt to give
> Bizarre Chaplin Chick a reason to make an appearance. Some
> uncomfortable-to-watch back-and-forth between her and Uncle Jesse took
> place, but nothing to write home about. We did get to see a location
shot
> for the first time in ages though out of the deal, for whatever that's
> worth.
>
> - After maneuvering around all the questions from her coworkers about
"How
> was Croatia?" all episode, Abbs finally comes clean at an all-ER meeting
> and tells everybody that she was really in rehab. Everybody seems to be
> pretty much "yeah whatever" about it, except Sam. Sam gets all pissed
for
> some reason.
>
> - For some reason, Haleh has gotten more screen time in the last two
> episodes than in the entire period since Third Rock fired her. Also,
> Malik made an appearance and even had a half a line in this episode. So
> the episode wasn't a complete garbage dump.
Malik?! Dang! And I missed it. :-( Oh, well. There's always reruns.
>
> - Jaspreet bolts because her father is about to find her (or something).
> She has Neela "break up" with Harold and Morris for her. I wasn't aware
> you could actually do that. That could have made a number of events in
my
> life go much smoother than they did. Huh, I guess you learn something
> every day if you're not careful.
>
> - Neela and Abby kiss and make up about the confrontation in Neela's
> apartment a few eps back. Abby apologizes and it's all water under the
> dam.
>
> And that's about it. I'm sure you're all as relieved as I am that this
> terrible writers strike, which has shut down so many shows, has in no
way
> affected the quality of "E.R."
>
> Until next time, I remain humbly yours,
>
> Dropping T. Helicopter
Thanks for the recap, "Unky-Copter". ;-)
----
Lori
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