Re: 2nd Season Joan of Arcadia - Spring Cleaning - 5 star poll -

Tracy Johnson wrote:
	<Devil's Advocate>:

>>For a 16-year-old girl that's a reasonable excuse. For those
>>over 18 (and in a long term dating situation) it's almost synonymous
>>with "I'm frigid", or "I think *** is dirty."
> 
> Excuse me????
> 
> A woman choosing not to have *** does not necessarily have ANYTHING to
> do with frigidity or feelings that *** is dirty.

	Agreed.

> A woman may say she doesn't "feel ready" as a way to put off an
> over-eager suitor because she has a hard time explaining her reasons.

	That's understandable at 15.
	If at 30 - some would say at 20 - they won't or worse yet can't 
articulate those reasons, it is reasonable (even prudent) to ask why.

> It is a moral (and sensible) choice for some people.

	It is neither moral or sensible - it's deception for personal gain, 
plain and simple.  You (generic "you", not the poster personally) are 
not responsible for what they do ... but you /are/ responsible for 
what you do.
	Turn this around: suppose one party emphatically wants kids and the 
other equally emphatically doesn't.  Are we prepared to excuse NoKids 
for saying "Maybe someday ...."?
	And as deceptions go, this one feels both fragile and explosive.

	</Devil's Advocate>
	If I were told "I won't have *** because

	I have a medical condition
	I have intimacy issues
	I'm waiting until marriage
	I have religious principles"

	I might or might not break things off.  (The willingness to actually 
make personal sacrifices for moral principles is a major plus for me 
personally.)  But a lie like that ... not only are we over, but I'll 
be happy to tell anyone who will listen what happened.


			Robert Huff