outernet tales
+++
this boy of yrs
must be
spittin chips
u cut so many corners
give me his blog address
+++
powderfinger
'passenger'
+++
hello young man
if u'll just
turn yr
webcam on
so i can see out yr viewport
+++
ok
point and click
on any star that takes yr fancy
+++
and again
+++
right stop
+++
motorhead
'paranoid'
+++
mellow out man
i see a star in yr viewport
i recognise
+++
?
'to58'
+++
nirvana
'on a plain'
+++
a distinctive colour
it's umm
a fast food world
just point at it and click
+++
there ya go
think yr in orbit
around a mc donalds franchise
+++
no man
i cant read yr images of th stars
i get thru th outernet
like i can read
the real thing but
th advertising stars
are distinctive
why so much crap
hangs around em
i'll send th bill to yr mother
+++
an only child
and she pleaded with th higher ups
+++
pj harvey
'i think i'm a mother'
+++
yeah alright
but is he ever gunna do anything
special
i already know
u think he;s special
+++
but he's just another lost blogger
out there in th void
+++
glad i could be of help
no maam
they arent all that
easy
to find
+++
little bugger was only lost three months
+++
must of put a flea
in someone's ear
+++
cause i read yr blog and
ya hadntf found anythign interestign and
yr drive
mad space ship drive
that takes us across th universe
in th blink of an eye
was unused
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
wot was he doing
piloting a ship by himself
his psychic potential was under five percent
and he missed his
planet of destination
+++
poor little boy
+++
u and a thousand others
every day
+++
ya gotta keep clicking an
find a way back
and then yr trail
is
a ring
and anyone can take yr journey
+++
it's cheating
to have us come in and
bail ya out
+++
unless ya found somethin special
+++
that mad bastard
he didnt get lost
that other guy
that found their trading base
didnt get lost at all
didnt fool us man
he followed th alien's trail
along with th hunters
+++
arrived first and
managed to follow himt o next hop
felt comfortabel cause
all th hops were under
thirty light yrs
safe enough
till he found em
and panicked
took a big jump and
where th fuck am i ?
+++
six yrs
wanderin th outer reaches
of unknown space
let alone
known
but i found him so
we've got his trail
and th backup crews can
follow it up
+++
gettin u home
was a coup
+++
we knew u
foudn hteir trading base but
coudl never recognise th stars
where u kept landing
not even th big buggers
betelgeuse
is tiny to some standards
+++
i lobbe din
ah yeah
anoither bleu planet fo rmy tally
oh
a guy twenty light yrs distant
a
lost blogger
who's psychic potential has gone over
ninety percent
log into yr blog and
hi dude
we've found ya
+++
six yrs
+++
a little more training and
they 'll send u out to do my job
+++
though i dont always
have to move
+++
do re mi
'track 13'
+++
third hop and
i see a star i recognise
thru yr webcam
stop man
i know where u are
+++
and beat his computer by
milliseconds
they so fast
+++
when th ships computer says
this is unknown space
it cant
recognise anything
is when it gets interesting
+++
dont know how far i've jumped
i missed my target star
in orbit around some other star
with everything moving
it happens
+++
take small hop
fifty light yrs
to a safe destination
dont feel liek another rollercoaster ride thanks and
wait for th ship
to look around
+++
harvey danger
'flagpole sitta'
+++
still lost
+++
but not out of touch just
th fuckin universe is
big
+++
i log onto th outernet
and register
as a lost blogger
+++
didnt mean to be out here
just travelling from
a to b and
my ship's survival stocks are good and
it;s random number generator
is th latest download
+++
i can let it
spin th numbers or
i can point and click
+++
most let th machine do it
but it depends how lost u are
+++
th best
random number generator
machine inteliigence
hasnt past
99.99%
psychic potential
+++
and hwen yr
a couple thosuand million light yrs from home
a degre eof arc
a millionth of a drgee off
can put u on th other side of
the unknown universe
+++
tenacious d
'hard fucking'
+++
george
'run'
+++
ya may as well wander
and let th magic take u where it will
+++
if it's special enough
a hunter will come along
for th bounty
+++
th closer
th random number generator download gets
th more th music
gets magic but
the magic has it;s own agenda
+++
th intelligence
buried in th chaos
that einstein
smart bugger
for every action
there's an equal and opposite reaction
+++
plug th number generator into th computer and
let it spit nonsense and
it makes more sense than i do
+++
till i took th programming course in tech and
had my
random number generator installed
+++
preset studio keepers
'solsbury hill'(dur)
+++
flat line
random number generator
can i
knock down that
flaw
th magic says no
+++
the all
everything
everywhere
everywhen
and all made of
nothing
+++
i understand yr secrets universe but
havin th bottom level
of th operating system
is only so helpful
+++
Röyksopp
'Kings Of Convenience - I Don't Know What I Can Save You From' (REMIX)
+++
perhaps
+++
it does help me find the
lost bloggers
of the outernet
+++
it always seem to be
they hit an epiphany
in their blog
and start writin decent clues
to th song
that;s about to play
when they find that
one thing that
+++
oh
i recognise that star
huge bloated orb though it be
th remnants of a supernova
th best mc donalds restaurant
in th unknown universe
so many have ppl
have fronted th counter and
got back because
they saw th
fuckin huge star
they blew up
to advertise th joint
+++
th oens who
didnt have to bee helped home
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no04'
+++
outraged
so many other species
how many stars
we threw into that fire
and how far back in time
+++
but hey
+++
we spot em here and there
when they collapse
they go a bit black and
still make good markers
fuck space is big
+++
th music of th spheres
+++
we sing to th stars and
if it songs back shit
in th psychic ether
then th hunters
vie for th contract
+++
whole phrases
c
omin back distorted
from a dyson sphere
+++
cake
'going the distance'
+++
where are u travelling ?
no destination huh
+++
too many of our travellers
are bein sucked into orbit
around yr sphere
+++
some of em
have their image
of th known universe
disappear and
disappear
+++
we've posted warnings but
yr travelling
three quarters of light speed and
so slow
+++
a solar system mass
and size
in one body
+++
the stranglers
'gold and brown'
+++
th early reports
thought u were a black hole
+++
till our
film
cameras
caught u
opening th poles
+++
still
it's th biggest space ship
i've ever laid eyes on and
u answered th pyschic hail
+++
ya cant attack this thing
+++
worse than our
super huge destroyers
what are ya gunna hurt ?
+++
throw a star
into it;s gullet
when th pole is open and
it'll just eject
wot it doesnt want
out th other pole
and as we suspected
it can
swap poles
+++
it wants
to stay under light speed
+++
kanye west
'golddigger'(ft jamie foxxx)
+++
depends really
on how much of our resources
u wanna suck
on yr way thru
+++
not my fault
u got five lanes of traffic
blocked
+++
th mean distance
between stars
in this sector yr in
is less than five light yrs
so
th more or less
run of th mill humanity
all th thirty percent psychics
fly from star to star
easy as
+++
humanity is bitching
on how much yr gulping
as ya pass by
a lot of us
in this sector and
too many mummies
callin our service
+++
noosha fox
's-s-s single bed'
+++
if it doesnt mattter
where u are
cause yr happy in yr dyson sphere
can i interest you in this
rift
it's not cleaned out yet
these are the
mass specs
our guys are confident they can shift yr
whole ball
and you'd be doin us a favour
+++
some of us
humans like to live
where th rocks
have been cleaned out
safer than bein in normal space and
much safer than livin on a planet
+++
land fallin on their heads
24/7
fuckin dark ages man
+++
u ppl are above that
built this huge
artifact
+++
budgie
'Napoleon Bona- Part One / Napoleon Bona- Part Two
+++
well
+++
we either shift u or
knock u over
+++
and it;s only
one planetary system's mass
+++
we find
thousands of times
more than that
every day
just in ppl gettin lost
+++
th countless trillians of us
yr kiddin man
half of humanity doesnt fill out th census
+++
we've gotten fined
in every census they've had
+++
if u wanna invoke th galactic council and
ask for arbitration
remember who their policemen are
+++
singularis harmonis pi porcus
my name
my species name
+++
it's pronounced in th english tongue
one harmonius (spoken number of pi) pig
u cant address us as
one pig
is against th law
for an alien
+++
we are
one harmonius eternal pigs
+++
mudvayne
'death blooms'
+++
let us move u along
to th rift
there's still enough mass
in there
to keep you lot fed and happy
+++
trade ?
sorry a human custom
we put th question symbol
after th sentence
is dumb
?trade
+++
we can use u as a
vacuum cleaner
+++
clean space sells at a premium
+++
it;s fuckin empty
rare as
+++
th ambassadors will
come to
talk more
thank you for your
time
+++
they'll go in th rift
they dont believe we can shift them
they're only
eight y one light yrs
from th mc donalds star
but they dont know it
+++
tom petty
'free falling'
+++
i wonder if
th ppl inside that thing
even look outside
+++
nuthin much can harm it
a dinosaur
of th deep black
+++
they must live
on th inside of th ball
but
they screen good enough
we cant tell
+++
and lookin
one of th poles
all ya see is fire
+++
maybe a real smart
plasma
i dunno man
just feels warm in there
+++
a giant vacuum cleaner
+++
hope th fuckin pirates
cant hire ya
to go clean up that dust cloud
+++
th pirate raft
would love to hit th
acadamey
+++
city high
'caramel'(song for you)
+++
th hidden space city
with tetraplegia standing guard
+++
well
+++
it's a temporary assignment
she tells me
+++
triple agent
one of ours
+++
we have th secret
of th lowest circle
of magic
the fundamental
ALL
is
nothing
has to
to bee infinite
and this makes us very happy pigs
for which we are thankfull
+++
th ultimate equation
with everything there is
on one side of th line
equaling
zero
on th other
+++
gorillaz
'feels good'
+++
ah man
th music
+++
huge head rush
+++
anything is possible
+++
even
th lost blogger
millions of light yrs from
any other human
and still
logging onto
the outernet
to chase decent four d porn and
relate to his or her
fellow humans
i draw th lien at eight sexes
it's all just sex isnt it
+++
young man
u're th first
who's blog i've ben asked to look into
becaus ehis lady and gentlemen friends
on th internet
sorry
my manners
outernet
are bitchin because
it;s affectign their sex life
+++
jewel
'the new wild west
+++
mother indeed
jeez they tell some lies
i read his blog
watched th fun and
interesting
social arrangement he had and
put three and four together
+++
time to
pack a bong and
suck down a coffee and
pick a direction
any direction
it's all good
till th phone rings
with th next case or
contract
instantaneous messaging
can be annoying
when yr spinning
in
cleaned space
that's just been vacuumed
groovin on th music and
tryin to remember th name of th guy
who invented th
first bong
that ya could pull a cone on in freefall
it'll come to me
learned it often enough growin up
so many cones smoked in yr honour brother
here's to magic drugs and
spiritual awareness
let there be light
..
..
..
one of many
high priest of kuta
+++
p.s.
+++
powderfinger
'dont panic'
+++
p.p.s
fuck recycling
..
..
..
triple o
+++
icehouse
'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)
+++
