Boys and girls,I'm on the business end of a conundrum.For those less
than literate the aforementioned tongue twister is a two part
statement,which sets up an impossibility because both parts of the
statement contradict each other. The most famous one was authored by
Bertrand Russel,the English mathamitician/philosher. It goes like
this:
There is a small village in which,withoout exception,the single barber
in the village shaves those men who don't shave themselves. The
question is who shaves the barber?
My delima, has an air of sadness to it which Russlel's lack. You
see,because of my age and the two medicines that I take I tend to lose
things. The most important one being my birth certificate.. I'm a year
or two away from claiming my F.D. R, inspired pension and in order to
do so I'll need my Social Security card(which I have) and my birth
certificate(which I don't have.
Nowwwwwwwwww boys and girls, I was born in the state of Michigan(Water/
Winter Wonderland but for the past 36 years have been living in the
state of Maryland(land of Plesant Living.)
I'm a member of a minority group which is so damn invisible that even
in the "Hippy Dippy 60s" no one spoke of it or for it,I mean of course
I'm an American who has never driven a car. To compound my felony I'm
also one who is so damn old that he was able to visit Canada without a
passport. Such a status quo no longer exists because of drug
dealersand terrorists and politicians who,even after restricting or
reducing our liberties can't seem to stem the flow of drug dealers and
terrorists.
Now let MOI be more detailed about my plight:
The state of Maryland won't issue a photo ID until the state of
Michigan issues me a birh certificate and the state of Michigan won't
issue a birth certificate until the state of Maryland issues me a phot
ID.
In both cases the respective states are motivated by a desire to cut
down on ID theft and 16 yerar olds drinking beer. However in both
cases both states seem to have overlooked the adds in the back of
"Rolling Stone." Various members of the Libertarin part no doubt catch
my drift.
How ever I'm not pissed off because both states ask for two much
evidence but because they ask for too little and the little they do
ask for can be that which an honest person such as myself doesn't have
or can't get!!! They can,by making a festish of very eassily forged
documents filter out,not only the rascles but the law abiding as well.
I know,247 things about myself,which the average ID thief or teenage
hacker could never get his hands on.The same goes for anyone who post
to this newsgroup. I don't want any thief to steal my idenity at a
five minute session at the DMV but I alos don't want any bureaucrat to
delete my idenity at any 5 minute DMV session!!!
The argument that the person across the desk doesn't really know you
only flys .if after,purusing your documents,even if they don't enclude
a birth certificate, adriver's license or a passport.,he finds that
such evidence,submitted to you doesn't meet the reasonble doubt or
prepondernce of the evidence standards. Don't they ever have the
cartoon lightbulb light up over their head and think"Why don't I run a
background check on this person before I eith grant or withhold
certicfication?"
I've paid into the Social Security fund for 43 years and it would be
a "^60 Minutes" segment if my payments weren't forthcoming!!!
As it is the scorebord reads:
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