CONTINUED from part 4
>
> "If you do hate me so much", I said, as soft as possible in my
> slightly damaged condition.
Tom: So his injuries make him only capable of...shouting?
>
> "Then why did you not kill me when you had a chance to?"
Joel: [Boromir] Good point! Let's take care of that now, shall we?
>
> Boromirs head went up with a jerk and through the strands of his hair,
> I could see his face gleaming wet.
Crow: Hey--I thought he said the expected blow never came?
>
> "Hate you?", he asked bewildered, coughing up some blood himself in
> turn.
Joel: When did Boromir catch consumption?
>
> "Nay, I do not hate you, Aragorn, not at all."
Tom: [Boromir] Trying to break your neck was just my way of saying "I
care."
>
> And then, his voice trailing away almost to inaudibility,
Crow: Ooh! Maybe it'll get stuck that way!
> he added:
>
> "But you are not a man easily liked. Or loved."
Joel: [Boromir] I know, because I've tried--and failed.
Tom: He does that a lot.
>
> First I thought that my battered senses played me tricks, that I began
> to hear words that had never been said
Tom: Uh oh--Aragorn's hearing voices in his head.
Joel: If they tell him to kill Boromir, he should listen.
> merely because I wished them to
> be said, but Boromirs expression I could not simply cast away as
> illusion.
Joel: [Aragorn] I keep trying to disbelieve, but, alas, he's still
here.
>
> "I am not easily--what?", I asked, my voice far more coarse than
> expected.
Tom: [Aragorn] Where I developed that Cockney accent, I'll never know.
>
> "Liked", he answered. And then, with the saddest smile, but clearly
> audible, he added:
Joel: [Boromir] There was a time when I remembered what that word
meant...
>
> "Or loved."
>
> "Loved?" I repeated,
Joel: Apparently, Aragorn has caught Boromir's stupidity.
> hating myself for my utter sheepishness,
Crow: I think we've established that Boromir enjoys sheepishness...
> yet
> Boromir had noticed the sound of joyful surprise in my word.
Joel: [Boromir] You remembered my birthday! Yay!
>
> "Yes, loved.", he said again, softly chuckling.
Crow: Like a flasher softly chuckles right before he opens the
raincoat?
>
> I was in a torrent of emotions.
Tom: Maybe he'll drown in them. And take Boromir with him.
>
> Of all possible outcomes, this had been the most desired and yet, the
> most unlikely one. Many words whirled in my head,
Crow: See? That sets him apart from Boromir right there.
Tom: Yeah--words only spew forth from Boromir's mouth. They never stop
in his head for long.
> so much to be said,
> so much to be explained.
Joel: It's okay--we don't need the explanation. Really.
>
> I was trying to catch at least one of these well-formed sentences,
Tom: [Aragorn] But alas, my butterfly net had a hole in it, and I
couldn't get a single specimen!
> if
> only to express my joy and mutual feelings,
Crow: Both of them?
> yet before I was to make a
> single thought,
Tom: [Aragorn] Boromir started talking again. I so want to kill him.
> I was brought back to the scene by a hand, softly
> touching my face.
Joel: [Aragorn] Not now, Legolas.
>
> It was Boromir, whom I had not noticed to stand up, kneeling between
> my legs, his face mere inches away from mine,
Crow: From his face, I hope?
> taking a strand of my
> hair out of my face.
Crow: Whew!
>
> I was bewildered by such a gentle gesture of so strong a man,
Joel: [Lenny/Boromir] And I get to tend the rabbits...
> mesmerised by his face that, though scraped and beaten and smeared
> with blood and tears,
Tom: Yes, Boromir's not exactly easy on the eyes, is he?
> seemed to me of such an indescribable and
> breathtaking beauty that I simply stopped thinking.
Tom: At least they can relate now.
>
> And then, as if trying to call back my fleeing mind,
Crow: [Boromir] Waaaaaaaait!
Tom: [Aragorn's mind] I'm outta here. And I doubt I'll be missed.
> he bend forward,
> ever so slightly, smiled and softly placed his lips onto mine.
Crow: Again, we're talking about Aragorn's lips here, right?
>
> They were suprisingly soft,
Joel: [Aragorn] For he used Carmex daily!
> his lips, far gentler than I had ever
> thought a mans lips could be,
Crow: [Aragorn] *Now* I know why Arwen screams every time I kiss her.
> and his short beard far coarser than
> expected.
Tom: [Aragorn] Boromir, you're giving me rug burn...
>
> When his lips met mine, gently and probing first, then his tongue
> parting my lips, I was tasting him,
Crow: I hear Boromirs taste like chicken.
> smelling him,
Joel: Phew! Smells like a chicken too.
> feeling his presence
> all over me, in that moment I melted.
Crow: I don't think anything I can say is wronger than that, Joel.
Joel: I hear you.
Tom: [Aragorn/Wicked Witch of the West] I'm melting! Melting!
>
> All the tension of the last days, all the pains and worries I had
> heaped around myself
Joel: Doesn't one normally hide behind a wall of happy thoughts, to
keep the pains and worries *out*?
Tom: Aragorn's a sad, sorry future king, ain't he?
> melted away within a single breath like an armour
> of ice in a dragons flame--
Joel: Boromir works like Ben Gay, apparently.
Crow: Well, the "gay" part, anyway.
> leaving nothing but me,
Tom: [Aragorn] Oops, I inadvertently vaporized Boromir. Oh well.
> nothing but the joy
> of requited love.
>
> And desire.
Joel: And surprise. And fear. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
>
> Turning like the tide
Joel: So does that make Aragorn the Prince of Tides?
> I leaned into Boromir and
Crow: [Aragorn] --we both fell over. Shoot.
> passionately kissed
> his mouth, his face, his throat. His movements and desires matched
> mine, and before long I found
Tom: [Aragorn] That we were both trying to kill each other!
> myself tearing at his shirt,
Crow: [Boromir] Hey, watch it! That was expensive!
> trying to
> rid us of this useless barrier that barred me from his body.
Tom: Yeah--who needs a shirt? Never mind the *cold*. Or the *rain*.
>
> Forgotten were all the thoughts of emotional discipline, of staying
> rational
Crow: I think that was forgotten long before now!
> and forgotten was even the ever watchful mind of Galadriel,
> who surely would not be able to let such an outburst of long-
> suppressed passion go unnoticed.
Crow: So it's a threesome, then?
>
> Let her watch,
Tom: Apparently she just likes to watch.
> I thought, if she needs to,
Joel: She's been desperate for entertainment ever since _Days of Our
Elves_ was cancelled.
> let her burn her prying
> mental fingers at the unelven heat of our love.
[All three pause to look at each other, and then burst into hysterical
laughter.]
>
> Finally, Boromirs stubborn shirt surrendered to my efforts
Tom: So if a white shirt surrenders, what does it wave?
> and he let
> me pull it over his head.
Crow: And now we're talking about his shirt...right?
> For a moment, I held him prisoner, his arms
> over his head, still in his shirt, and watched
Tom: [Aragorn] ...as he suffocated in his blasted shirt and expired
on the spot.
> his body in the bright
> starlight that illuminated our little grove.
>
> He was as broad as expected,
Crow: See? He really is a woman.
> and heavily muscled, and the slight sheen
> of sweat and his deep and hard
Crow: Oh, boy.
> breathing
Crow: Phew!
> made him seem like a paragon
> of mankind,
Joel: If Boromir's a paragon of mankind, the human race is sooooo
doomed.
> full of passion, so hard to contain it came close to
> physical pain.
Tom: Not to mention mental pain.
>
> I leaned forward, coming up close to Boromirs face,
Crow: Always thought that was considered bad manners?
> still hidden
> behind the cloth of his shirt, hearing his breath, smelling him,
> feeling the heat rising from his body.
Joel: Soon, you'll be able to cook eggs on him.
>
> "I may have been a fool, but I ever am the fool only once."
Crow: The realm of fanfiction would say otherwise...
>
> With gentle violence,
Tom: Oxy isn't the only moron around here.
> I pressed him down to the ground, still holding
> him in his shirt, now kneeling on top of him.
Tom: [Aragorn] Crushing the life out of him, puncturing his lungs with
his own ribs...
>
> "I do love you too, you brickheaded Gondorian prince, and I will not
> let you go. Not tonight."
Joel: We've been transported into a bad teen soap opera!
Tom: _90210_. I told you.
>
> I heard him laugh softly, felt his chest move according to it,
Tom: According to what? I can't stand the vagueness.
Crow: Sometimes it's better not to know.
> and
> gently, lovingly he said:
Joel: [Boromir] Smile! You're on Candid Camera!
>
> "No insults anymore, tonight, Aragorn. We both have still much talk to
> do,
Tom: [crying] By all that is holy, please, NO MORE TALKING!
> and much to settle between the two of us."
>
> He tried to rid himself of the makeshift bonds
Joel: Someone should have told him buying junk bonds was a bad
investment.
Tom: That's what he gets for using Elrond as his financial adviser.
> and I let him go.
Crow: If it was truly meant to be, he'll come back!
> He
> took of his shirt, his muscles gleaming in the starlight underneath
> his shining skin.
Joel: Boromir is see-through, like that plastic guy in the Health
Museum.
> He looked at me for a long moment, than took my
> hands in his and said:
Crow: [Boromir] Who's your manicurist? Your nails look FABULOUS!
>
> "No more insults, and no more titles tonight.
Tom: The wrestlers have made peace.
Crow: Only until the next season starts.
> Lets pretend there were
> nothing outside our little grove here, nothing to fear, nothing to be
> responsible for."
Joel: [Singing, as Boromir] Welcome to my woooorrld/won't you come on
in.....?
>
> He sat up and looked into my eyes, clear blue eyes that seemed to
> caress me with their looks,
Tom: He's being caressed by his own eyes? That must be quite a trick.
> one of his hands around my back,
Tom: Boromir's got the reach of a concert pianist!
> the other
> softly touching my cheek, his fingers callused yet all the gentler.
>
> "Promise me that tonight, we'll be Lovers, nothing else."
Crow: How about "nothing at all"?
>
> "Nothing else, for tonight.", I whispered, feeling utterly relieved
> and happy.
Tom: [Aragorn] Until, that is, the implication of "Lover" entered my
consciousness.
>
> "I promise."
>
> I leaned my head on his broad shoulder, just for a moment, and he took
> me into his strong arms, held me tight and whispered in my ear:
Tom: [Boromir] You've got spinach on your tooth.
>
> "Then I promise, too. Nothing but two Lovers.
Crow: Galadriel's gonna be put out.
> Nothing but tonight."
>
> *
Tom: [sings] Would you like to swing on a star?/Carry moonbeams home in
a jar?
>
> Once again, I felt passion welling up in me, not as blinding as the
> first time, but deeper, slower, more intense.
Crow: Better look behind you to make sure that's passion you feel,
Aragorn old boy.
>
> I sat on his lap,
Tom: [Aragorn] And I want a train set and a new bike and a Master Ninja
action figure ....
> kissing the side of his neck,
Crow: [Aragorn] ... lulling him into a false sense of security while I
searched for the jugular vein.
> caressing him, feeling
> him, loosing myself
Tom: Eww, that just ruined the moment. Get some Kaopectate!
> in the sensation of another body I had so long
> been craving for.
Joel: So, like, Aragorn just wanted to have an out-of-body experience.
Tom: No, he wanted to switch bodies, like in _Freaky Friday_.
>
> Boromir in turn was kissing my ear,
Crow: [Boromir] Your lips taste of ear wax, my love....
> stroking my hair, touching my face.
>
> When he gently untangled our embrace, I looked at him in irritation,
Tom: [Aragorn] --Finally coming to my senses. No sandwich was worth
this price.
> but he smiled at me so sweet and reassuring I did but sit back.
Crow: Wow, he's easy.
>
> It was Boromir now who started to unlace my shirt,
Joel: How many shirts do these guys have on?
> but unlike me, he
> took his time, each lace at a time, like unwrapping a precious and oh
> so fragile present.
Crow: [Boromir] See, *this* is how you remove a shirt without ruining
it!
>
> Surprisingly, I was not annoyed by his slow pace,
Tom: [Aragorn] As much as I was annoyed by his slow brain.
> but felt honored by
> his care, precious and beloved.
Joel: Like a puppy, then?
>
> Gently but determined, he lifted my shirt over my head, leaning back a
> little, watching my now-bared chest and arms.
Tom: [Boromir] Gads, you're thin! I should've fed you that sandwich
long ere now!
> It was pleasant, for
> his look was neither judging nor examining,
Tom: ...just excruciating...
> but joyful and with the
> clear intend to delight in this very moment, and to wait until lust
> would finally consume his restraint.
Crow: First time I think lust has been described as a deterrant to
bondage...
>
> "You are far less skinny than I thought", Boromir said softly, after a
> while.
Joel: [Aragorn, pouting] Does that mean I don't get the sandwich?
>
> "I thought we said 'no more insults'?"
Tom: Like Boromir can remember that.
>
> "That was a compliment, my dear,
Joel: A backhanded one, but still a compliment.
> for thou art beautiful, as beautiful
> as man can be."
Crow: [Boromir] But don't tell Legolas I said that.
Tom: He said as beautiful as *man* can be. Legolas is an *elf*.
>
> He shifted his weight to make him more comfortable, yet trough this
> movement, I got very aware of the hardening between his legs.
Joel: [Boromir] Drat that Medusa! Knew I shouldn't have looked!
>
> I had never really thought of where our love, if ever requited, might
> go,
Crow: I'll tell you where it can go, buddy.
> and never spend much thought about the physical peculiarities of a
> night between two warriors.
Tom: [jealously] How lucky for you, Aragorn!
Crow: Yeah, wish *we* didn't have to think about it.
>
> But the kissing part seemed to be over now, and we both knew it.
Crow: On to second base!
>
> I started moving gently, trying to acquaint myself with this
> unexpected additional appearance of such a well known part of my own
> physique.
Crow: So his member just now popped in for a visit?
Joel: Don't say "member" and "popped" in the same sentence again, okay?
>
> My movements seemed to be rather inspiring, for Boromir close his eyes
> after a while and laid back, silently enjoying the sensation.
Crow: He's skiing down the Caradhras!
>
> I felt him grow underneath my moving buttocks and it felt good. I
> enjoy giving pleasure to the ones I make love to, and obviously gender
> seemed to be not so much an issue in this case.
Crow: Aragorn, anybody else who reacted like that and claimed to be a
woman was lying.
Tom: Aragorn's been a loser in _The Crying Game_, apparently.
>
> Then suddenly, Boromir opened his eyes again, breathing heavily, and
> stopped my motion by fixing my hips with his hands.
Tom: That's fortunate--wouldn't want him wandering around with broken
hips.
>
> I looked at him, questioning him, but he just gave me a leering grin,
Tom: When did Boromir turn into Chester the Molester?
Crow: That'd be back with the whole trenchcoat-laugh thing...
> turning both of us around in a single motion, pinning me to the
> ground, lying between my legs.
>
> "Enough teasing, now, my brother."
Joel: [Aragorn] Excuse me! Do I *look* like Faramir?
> His voice was low and pleasingly
> unsteady, passion seeping through every word.
Joel: Better get the Bounty--the quicker picker upper.
>
> "Let me see what you have to offer!"
>
> And with these words, he slid down between my knees, undoing my pants
> with surprising ease,
Crow: And then he said, with loud surprise/"Why, what a sight has met
my eyes!"
> pulling down both pants and breeches
Tom: Not only multiple shirts, but multiple pants, too!
Crow: Must be cold in Lothlorien.
> to my
> ankles, watching my exposed body with utter pleasure.
>
> To my own surprise, I was far more aroused than I had thought,
Joel: One wonders how one wouldn't *know* that.
Crow: Don't wonder too hard...
> and he
> watched my shining shaft
Tom: [sings, to the tune of "My Shining Hour"] This is...my shining
member....
> with a slightly unsettling mixture of lust
> and hunger.
Tom: *Slightly* unsettling?
Crow: [sings] Hot dogs/Armour hot dogs...
>
> He bent down, at first stroking my naked tights
Joel: So is Aragorn naked, or is he wearing tights?
Bots: [singing] We're men, manly men, we're men in tights, Yeah!/We
roam around the forest looking for fights....
> with his hands, then
> caressing them with his face, then wandering up between my legs until
> my first gasping breath made him look up.
Tom: [Aragorn, through clenched teeth] You're standing on my area. GET
OFF!
>
> "Feels alright, doesn't it?", he said with a moronic expression.
Crow: And that's different from his usual expression...how?
>
> "Oh, gods, I could swallow you whole, just to keep you with me."
Tom: Aragorn never got his sandwich, so I bet he's thinking the same
thing right now about Boromir.
>
> His hands started stroking the exposed length of my most sensitive
> parts, while his eyes never left mine.
>
> "And tonight, you are mine, to do with as I please."
Joel: [sings] But will you love me tomorrow?
>
> And with these words, he swallowed me whole, as he had promised,
Tom: [Aragorn] Unhinging his jaw like a snake.
> though probably in different context.
>
> It was pleasurable, for sure.
Joel: Like, totally.
> I was hardly able to wonder if I had
> been able to give as much pleasure to him were I in his place, but I
> couldn't be bothered.
Tom: *Nothing* fazes this guy!
> His moving lips and tongue sent waves of
> pleasure through my body, quite alike to a rocking boat on the shore.
Joel: Funny, that usually inspires seasickness in me...
Tom: Wait...if a boat's on the shore, it doesn't rock.
Joel: Right. In other words, Aragorn isn't experiencing pleasure.
CONTINUED in part 6
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