CONTINUED from part 6
>
> "You brickheaded prince of Gondor, let me go!", I shouted, feeling my
> anger rising slowly to match his.
Tom: Because insulting him is a really good way to accomplish what you
want...
>
> Unexpectedly, he hit me with his fist, right below my temple, putting
> all of his might into his blow.
Crow: That doesn't sound so bad...
>
> "You have broken the single one law we have here tonight, Lover!",
Joel: [Boromir] You didn't Wang Chung tonight!
Tom: [Hick Cop/Boromir] Yew have a broken tail-light.
Crow: [Aragorn] No, I don't.
Tom: [makes sound of glass breaking, then, as Cop/Boromir] Yew do now!
> he
> growled menacingly while I stood there, fighting not to loose balance.
Joel: Heaven forbid balance escape and run amok.
> His hit had been hard, and the days before had more than demanding,
Tom: [Aragorn] With Galadriel yelling in my head and having to listen
to Boromir drone on and on, and all.
> yet it still shocked me that his blow had almost brought me to the
> brink of consciousness.
Crow: See? Sounds like it was good for him, too...
>
> "I will show you what lovers do, Lover!", he added spitefully,
Tom: [Boromir] They take each other out to dinner! And buy each other
flowers and stare goofily into each other's eyes for minutes on
end!
> slamming me against the trunk with all his weight.
Joel: No, no, no, Boromir. This is *sex*, not ice hockey.
> I felt little
> branches and moss crumble underneath my impact,
Crow: That's all? Boy, Aragorn sure is a lightweight.
> and the mad light of
> wrathful desire that shone in Boromirs eyes frightened me.
Tom: [Aragorn] The possible glimmer of intelligence was too much to
bear.
>
> He shoved me against the tree, pushed me up, pulling up my legs over
> his arms one after another,
Tom: Just how many legs does Aragorn have, exactly?
> while I desperately tried to focus enough
> to make one distinctive movement without falling.
Crow: He sounds like a potty-training two-year-old.
>
> "I will have you",
Joel: [sings, as Boromir] Yes, I will have you/I will find a way/and
I will have you...
> he grunted, "with your consent or without."
>
> And with these words, he lowered my body, trying to impale me on him.
Tom: Hopefully he'll be successful, thus killing them both and ending
the misery for us all.
> But unwilling and ill-prepared as I was, he only managed to shove me,
Joel: Boromir can't even do *this* right! What good is he?!
> squeezing me against the rough bark. He thrust again, and again,
Crow: [Scottish] He needs more thrrrrust!
> ever
> trying to intrude in me, more lead by instinct
Joel: Iron by determination, and tin by stupidity!
> and mad desire than any
> human thought.
Tom: Which makes sense, as he is incapable of any.
> I struggled against my failing sense of co-ordination,
Joel: [Aragorn/Captain Kirk] Coordination failing...sight...growing
dim...
> struggled to prevent him from doing any real harm,
Tom: Imaginary harm must be okay, though.
> struggling to clear
> my head enough to free me from this shameful position.
Crow: You were in a shameful position when you agreed to go off in the
woods with him, buddy.
>
> Then, of a sudden, one of his thrusts was successful, and a wave of
> pain ran though my body as I felt myself pried open, torn,
Joel: [Aragorn] You're a little late. I'm already torn.
> violated by
> the man I only desired love of.
Joel: Perhaps if you desired love, you shouldn't have insisted about
not being taken...
> I felt the length of him enter my
> body, using ways that had never been intended for such intercourse.
Tom: His ear canal?
Crow: His sinus cavities?
[Joel simply shudders where he sits.]
> I
> cried out loud, more for pain of heart than anything else,
Tom: [Aragorn] Sorry--those chili dogs are catching up with me.
> but with my
> cry, also my muddled senses reawakened. He had already left my body
> but for a minute tip
Crow: [Aragorn] Only 5%? Cheapskate!
> that remained within me, but before he could
> launch his next shove, I landed my elbows on his head with all force.
Joel: I see Aragorn has discovered the anime girl's secret weapon.
>
> Dazzled by the impact, he stopped his motion, and I managed to pull up
> my feet, pushing him away with a well-placed kick in his face.
All: BOOT TO THE HEAD!
> The
> impact hurtled him across the little grove,
Tom: See what happens when you make Aragorn angry? You wouldn't like
him when he's angry...
> and Boromir stumbled and
> fell close to the tree-root where this ill-fortuned meeting had begun.
Joel: Yeah, sure. Blame it all on the tree-root.
>
> Seconds later, I was on top of him,
Crow: [Aragorn] Going at him like a rat in heat. I only wanted to be
on top.
> beating him, kicking him. I wanted
> to hurt him, to hurt him so mindlessly as he had done with me,
Joel: Don't take it personally. Boromir does *everything* mindlessly.
> and
> cowered all his body with blows.
Tom: So he made Boromir shrink away in fear?
Crow: I thought "blows" would have the opposite effect...
>
> Yet, though my intend to hurt him was clear, it slowly came to me that
Tom: [Aragorn] I was far too much of a wuss for any of this to have an
effect on him.
> I took great care not to hurt him seriously or, the gods forbid, to
> kill him.
Joel: Yes, lord knows why you'd want to do that.
>
> That thought slowed my attacks.
Crow: Boy, now even Aragorn's having trouble. He can't think and punch
at the same time.
> After all he had done to me mere
> moments ago, could it be that I still was unable to hate him?
Tom: [Aragorn] Or could it be that I was simply a masochist?
>
> I let go of him, the, dropping myself somewhere in the grove.
Joel: [Aragorn] I'll just leave myself here until the post office comes
to collect me...
Crow: I thought he refused to be collected?
> Now that
> the anger had left me, I felt cold, hurt, and tired.
Tom: [Aragorn] I pulled on my cloak and then I was just hurt and
tired. I took a nap, and then I was just hurt....
> There was still
> pain in me, far more in my heart than anywhere else.
Crow: [Aragorn] I really, really needed a Rolaids.
> But this time, it
> was no anger that I felt, only sadness of one betrayed by his love.
Joel: Oh, you mean like Arwen's going to feel when she finds out you're
in love with Boromir?
>
> It was painful to see that in spite of our love, we seemed unable not
> to harm each other,
Tom: Well, it's a well-known fact that you only hurt the ones you
love...
> painful to realise that this night had been
> defiled by an act of such mindless violence.
Crow: Gee, that sure *sounds* like love.
>
> And I was ashamed. Ashamed to have been used, ashamed not to have been
> able to prevent this disaster,
Joel: [Aragorn] If only I'd paid attention to the Weather Channel, we
could've evacuated before Hurricane Boromir went off!
> not able to stop him by force, unable
> to hate him. I felt tears running down my cheeks, and each single one
> added more to my disgrace.
Joel: The future king breaking down and crying like a baby isn't
disgraceful at all, then?
>
> Weak and defeated
Joel: ...wasted and drained...
> I sat there, holding my knees, praying for this
> shameful moment to pass, unable to end it myself.
Tom: [Aragorn] I never was good at the whole suicide thing.
>
> "Oh my gods, what have I done?"
All: [sing] "Letting the days go by/Let the water hold me down...
>
> Once again, it was Boromirs soft voice that brought me back.
Crow: [Michael Corleone/Aragorn] I keep trying to get out, but they
keep pulling me back in!
> Once
> more, he knelt next to me, watching my face with a shock and shame
> that must have mirrored mine.
Joel: Remember, Boromir blacked out during all the bad stuff.
Tom: I so wish I had that skill...
>
> "Oh gods, I'd never thought--", he whispered,
Crow: Why am I not surprised to hear that?
> trying to touch my arm
> in a gesture of repentance.
Joel: [Aragorn] But his oafish lack of coordination caused him to miss
my arm on his first three attempts. Stupid Boromir.
>
> But the memory of his uncontrollable violence was yet to young, and I
> flinched away to avoid his touch. He retreated as if burned by searing
> heat, his
Tom: [Aragorn] ...skin peeling away in blistered layers as he
smoldered. I never knew I had a finishing move before.
> looks now naught but shock and sadness, gone like a
> nightmare were all traces of the mad,
Joel: --to be replaced by traces of the crabby and disgruntled.
> sparkling desire that had
> twisted his gentle face.
>
> We sat in silence for a moment,
Crow: Wow--a whole moment! I'm impressed at Boromir's restraint.
> looking at each other, trying to
> understand what evil fate had befallen our young love.
Tom: Perhaps the love itself was the evil fate.
> With time, my
> silent tears faded,
Tom: [sings] No more memories, no more silent tears...
[Crow joins in]
Bots: No more gazing across the wasted years/Help me say goodbye.
> my sadness replaced by cold and grey emptiness.
Joel: He's going through the seven stages of grief.
> He
> still knelt there, watching me, and as my tears left me, they welled
> up in him again.
Tom: Gotta keep the water pressure equal.
> Heavy with grief and self-loathing, he turned away
> from me then, muttering to himself:
Crow: [Boromir] Stupid Aragorn...must kill...must kill...
>
> "Gods, I'm a monster."
Tom: Godzilla?
Crow: Frankenstein's?
Joel: The Thing?
>
> His words struck me like a blow,
Crow: Even Boromir's words are violent.
> piercing the gloom
Tom: How does a blow pierce?
> I had shrouded
> around myself to prevent me from seeing my shame.
Crow: that's it, Aragorn, blind yourself to your own ickiness...
> Yes, he had violated
Tom: [Aragorn] ...me...
> my trust in him, defiled
Tom: [Aragorn] ...me, again...I'm sensing a trend here.
> our bond, yet to see him suffer was still too
> much for me to bear.
Joel: [Mr. Rogers] Can you say "co-dependent," boys and girls?
>
> Taking care of someone elses hurts can sometimes prove more wholesome
> and healing than being taken care of,
Joel: The Official Doormat Mantra.
> and when my eyes saw him suffer
> for what he had done, my heart opened again,
Tom: [Aragorn] And all my blood came pouring out, killing me. The end.
Joel: Sorry, Tom...
Tom: Let me dream, Joel.
> wiping away all my
> self-pity like the sun burning away the mists of morning.
Tom: [Aragorn] ...as it crashed into the earth, killing Boromir and
putting me out of my misery?
Joel: Now you're just grasping at straws.
Tom: [weeps] I know.
>
> Yes, he had hurt me, but he had hurt himself far worse,
Crow: Um, how?
> and whereas
> time
Crow: ...and a little well-placed ointment...
> would heal my wounds, his could only be healed by my forgiveness.
Joel: [Aragorn] Or his death, which seemed like an equally viable
option.
> And willing to forgive I was, surprisingly so,
Crow: Yup--sure surprised me.
Tom: Me, too.
Joel: I concur.
> for in the light of my
> love what he had done seemed but an over-eager child's misstep.
Tom: [preschool teacher] Oh, no, little Boromir! We don't *rape*
people. Play nice.
> A big
> and dangerous child, yet adorable none the less.
Crow: He's so cute when he's committing violent sex acts.
>
> I sat up, on my knees, and silently went to him until I faced his
> broad back,
Joel: [Aragorn] And then I drove my sword in hard, hard--until it came
dripping out the other side.
Tom: Now who's wishing?
> seeing it heave with silent tears.
Crow: His back is weeping? Is that a form of stigmata or something?
> I tried for words,
Tom: [Aragorn] But alas, Boromir had stolen them all.
> words to express my love,
Joel: How about "I love you"?
> my forgiveness,
Crow: How about "I forgive you"?
> to express that he should
> stop punishing himself for I demanded no retribution.
Joel: How about "Stop punishing yourself, for I demand no retribution"?
> But once again,
> words did not come easily, neither at once,
Crow: I guess Aragorn *isn't* a master of the obvious.
> and before I said anymore
> stupidities that night, I chose silence
Tom: That's the crux of difference between Boromir and Aragorn.
> and gently laid my arms around
> him, softly nuzzling his neck.
Joel: He wants Boromir to give him a lump of sugar.
>
> For a moment, he merely sat there, immobile like a rock,
All: [sing] Like a rock!
> but then he
> turned, gently holding my arms,
Tom: [Aragorn] And then twisting them off at the elbows. But I forgive
him for that, too.
Joel: So Aragorn's not the only one with a finishing move...
> until he could see my face. With a
> strand of his hair sticking to his moist face he looked at me in
> wonder, asking coarsely:
Crow: [Boromir] Dude--got a friggin' towel?
>
> "How can you come back to me after what I have done to you?"
Crow: The $20,000 Question, Ladies and Gentlemen.
>
> I shrugged, still not sure about how to word my feelings.
Joel: It's as though Aragorn is afflicted with the exact opposite
disorder as Boromir!
>
> "I did never intend to hurt you, but I got carried away.
Tom: Kings and the men who abuse them, on the next Jenny Jones.
> Not an
> excuse, that is, none at all. Quite weak for a man so strong, isn't
> it?"
Crow: Frustration leads to anger. Anger leads to rape. Rape leads to
the Dark Side.
>
> He gently stroke my hair, and finally, among all the words buzzing in
> my head,
Joel: Words like "amalgam!"
Crow: "Octopus!"
Tom: "Cadenza!"
Crow: "Splice!"
Tom: "Expedite!"
Joel: And "tweak!"
> I found the one explanation, simple and true since the
> beginning of time.
Tom: "Boromir's an imbecile!"
>
> "I love you. That's all."
Crow: It is? Wheee! I'm going out and getting drunk!
Joel: Sit down.
>
> His eyes widened in wonder once more,
Joel: So Boromir's as shocked and dismayed as I am.
> and it filled my heart with joy
> to see.
Joel: And Aragorn's heart grew three sizes that day...
>
> "Yes, I do love you. And though I have been hurt in body and soul
> alike, I cannot turn away from you."
Tom: [Aragorn] Sometimes love don't feel like it should, but you make
it hurt so good.
>
> My expression turned into mocked solemnity
Crow: Hey, he knows we're out here riffing him!
> as I added:
>
> "And I have learned my lesson not to taunt you with my hands between
> your legs.
Tom: [Aragorn] Next time, I'll thumb my nose like everyone else.
> Isn't healthy for both of us, is it?"
Crow: No, seems to only be unhealthy for Aragorn...
>
> My grin managed to split his lips
Tom: [Aragorn] Oh wait--that was my fist...
> into a little smile, which in turn
> eased my heart so much I broke out in
Crow: [Aragorn] Hives. I hate this nervous reaction of mine.
> relieved laughter. Before long,
> we both were lying in the moss together,
Tom: They were lying in the arms of an underweight supermodel?
Joel: It's preferable to lying in each other's arms, don't you think?
> holding each other gently,
> laughing, looking at the stars behind the trees.
Tom: Hey, behind that poplar--it's George Clooney!
>
> "We may be great heroes, both of us", I said
Joel: [Aragorn] But just for one day.
> when finally our laughter
> subsided. "But in things of the heart, we both fumble like children,
> don't we?"
Crow: Yes, you do. And in things of the vocabulary, too.
>
> I turned my head towards him, and he looked into my eyes, still
> smiling so adorably.
Joel: They've broken into Aragorn's stash of Hobbit weed, haven't they?
>
> "True, how true."
>
> A long look followed, as if the answers to his questions were written
> in my face.
Tom: Boromir realized that the next time he wished to cheat on the
exam, he should write the answers on his *arm*, his *arm*!
>
> "You're still--I mean, tonight is the first time you're together with
> a man, right?", he asked, his voice filled with gentle care.
Joel: Why, whatever gave him that idea?
Tom: And then the ugly truth about the hobbits finally came to light.
>
> I simply nodded, smiling, feeling thoughtless not to have warned him
> when I found him
Crow: [Aragorn] Raping me.
> so much more experienced.
Tom: That's right. Blame yourself. Just continue that co-dependent
abusive cycle.
>
> "Doesn't seem like your first time, though."
Joel: No--all that stuff about not being taken happens *every* time.
>
> He smiled guiltily and shrugged, pulling me closer in his embrace.
Tom: [Aragorn] Crushing the life out of me, ever so slowly. But that's
okay--I'm sure it hurt him far worse than it hurt me...
>
> "Not truly, no. But, alas, you do know how to raise a mans passion
> anyway. Seems you're talented."
Crow: He's in the Gifted program.
>
> He gently kissed my forehead, adding:
Tom: [Boromir] We're signing you up for AP Calculus post-haste!
>
> "Very talented indeed..."
Joel: He can rub his tummy and pat his head at the same time.
>
> I could not help but smile. Being courteous to ladies is one thing,
Joel: That I'm sure we're not going to see in this story.
> but being on the receiving end of such
Tom: Malarky?
Joel: Smarm?
Crow: Incincerity?
> compliments is utterly
> different, yet pleasing none the less.
Tom: Unless, of course, you're in character.
>
> Loving a man teaches you a lot about yourself, for it makes you able
> to compare and see what it is that is lovable about a man.
Joel: Even if you're a woman?
Tom: There's a philosophy to live by for ya...
CONTINUED in part 8
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