I was a big fan of TS back when Alex was hostess... then she was gone
without any official explanation except the perfectly legally safe "we
wanted to take the show in a new direction and wish her the best of luck".
I was prepared to dislike Paige at first, but she was pretty much okay and
I
didn't hold the stupid gimmicks they started pulling against her. But then
it happened again... she's fired, no explanation except the one that they
clearly pulled out of a drawer and whited out Alex's name. So, like most
people who are faced with no plausible explanation, I went to check on the
internet for any info. Well, I was shocked!
(Not.)
And I felt compelled to write a song for Paige, to the tune of the first
song in Beauty and the Beast, "Belle".
PAIGE
On Trading Spaces there have been big changes
It's long since passed its golden age
No one's coming forth with news
We are left with too few clues
So I've had to search the internet for Paige
Now Frank and Gen talk right into the camera
Those guys would work for minimum wage
But the show seems kind of lame
It just hasn't been the same
No we never thought we'd miss annoying Paige
She's on a show, she's getting married
Another show, her honeymoon
Look here's a tape, my god that's scary
We are seeing far too much of Paige too soon
Well there she goes that girl is way too frisky
She has the sponsors all enraged
She is bubbly and she's cute
Posing in her birthday suit
So they're busy making plans to fire Paige
(conversation over music for a bit then back to:)
On TV Guide she's posing mostly ****d
What's that she's doing on that stage?
She's been surgically enhanced
She keeps thinking she can dance
A free spirit on a family show, that's Paige
We overlooked a second husband
We overlooked her funky hair
We overlooked her squeaky singing
But we just can't overlook her underwear
We have a call in to the former hostess
From her reactions we might gauge
She was arrogant and loud
But we'll beg Alex McLeod
Cause she's not overtly ***ual like Paige
Disclaimers:
1. I actually like Paige's singing and dancing, a B- at her worst
2. Alex is more overtly ***ual than Paige
3. No, I do not believe everything I read in every blog
: )
Bring back a host of some kind, fellas... if your hyperactive fear of
Janet
Jacksonism makes you fire Paige, then replace her, because it's really
WEIRD
seeing these people talking to a camera that has clearly asked them a
question.
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